Posted 11:57 PM by Roy

Knowing Me Knowing Yule... Aha.

Just when I was convinced that this year's prize for "stupidest lyric to plague the airwaves" would go to Hollaback Girl (This Shit is bananas, b-an-an-as) somebody goes and pretty much explodes the scale on which we judge stupid lyrics. My Humps by Black Eyed Peas is by far the dumbest thing I've ever heard. An excerpt, if you don't mind:

"I'ma get get get get you drunk.
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump my hump my hump my hump my hump.
My hump my hump my hump my lovely little lumps"

Amazingly it lacks the sexual innuendo of Nine Inch Nails' Closer, the intelligence of De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da by The Police (remember to crank the volume if you enter that site...), and the melody of having your eardrum pierced with a shovel.

In other news, I've realized that Århus Stiftstidende are very sneaky when it comes to sending out bills for stuff you haven't asked for, but very nice when it comes to saying you don't have to pay them.

Also I've realized that people downtown have already gone into christmas mode which makes them even more detestable than usual.

Posted 12:01 AM by Roy

No Football?

A couple of weeks ago TDC, who run the cable-tv biz in my part of town, decided that it would be funny to switch some of the channels around. That way people would have to find the channels again, and put them back into their place in the natural order of the tv. Suddenly the Disney channel was where Kanal 5 used to be, and something popped up where CNN used to be. And then Kanal 5 and CNN would be somewhere else.
The problem is that as it is right now, neither my tv nor video can find either of the two channels. I've been surfing the frequencies like a mad person, but alas, with no luck. And to make matters worse, the support people at TDC and Dantax (who made my tv) seem rather unimpressed by my desperate cries for help.
After having explained my problem in great length in an email to their support-person, I received an email saying: "Dantax 20MO-1 can take all channels (VHF, UHF and S)". The way I see it, that is a) more of a statement, than an actual attempt to help, and b) obviousely not true in the case of my tv, because if it was I would have been watching Kanal 5 and CNN all week. But I couldn't.

It's really starting to piss me off bigtime that I can't see these two channels, because Kanal 5 is where I watch English, German and Spanish football + Royal League (if I'm really bored), and CNN is where I watch news and The Daily Show. And it pisses me off even more that there was absolutely no reason why TDC should go and f*ck with a system that worked perfectly fine, and then make it sound on their homepage like they had done me a favour. People shouldn't mess with other people's tv's - it's just wrong!

Posted 3:51 PM by Roy

New Years Resolutions, pt. I.

It's beginning to be that time of the year, where people are making lists to summarize the year, and preparing for the next one. I, for one, am a firm believer in new years resolutions, and I have already planned one that is potentially brilliant and life-altering all at once.
I have come to the realization that I'm not really as funny in person as I could be. Generally I have a tendency to just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, and more often than not, it doesn't really make a lot of sense. On the other side I sometimes get applauded for writing funny text messages to people on my cell-phone. So in all its simplicity, my latest resolution is that when people say anything to me, I'll wait for about a minute and then state my answer in 160 characters or less. It could work out brilliantly.

Other resolutions include:

• Try not to develope a crack-addiction.
• Be less like Dick Kaysø
• Lose 40 pounds, and then gain 35 again when I return to my normal way of life.
• Watch every episode of Blind Justice.
• Be a little bit country, and a little bit rock n' roll at the same time.

Posted 2:04 AM by Roy

Eh, hello?

Yeah, it's me.
Just wanted to let you know that I'm okay.
I'm not dead, og ill, or depressed or anything. A bit of a cough, but that's it.
Honestly, it's all good. You don't have to worry about me.
And yeah, I promise to keep in touch more often.
Okay? Great.
Bye.