Thursday, April 29, 2004

I Love Your Mullet.

The big news today is of course that the band-list for Roskilde has been released, and it is a bit underwhelming. The only 3 bands I'm really excited about are Korn, Muse amd Franz Ferdinand. And I've already seen Muse 2 times before. Of course, if I go, I'll probably go see Bowie, Morrissey and Pixies, but honestly those bands have never really meant anything to me. If I had the choice between Bowie and Therapy?, Therapy? would win anyday. There's no really big metal bands, except Korn who are hardly "metal", instead there are a lot of bands that could be the next big thing, but most likely won't. And I've got 50 bucks that says Wu-Tang won't show up.

I'm watching a VH1 special on the 80's. What the hell was wrong with Bono's hair back then?

I'm back for another stint of cleaning at my parents' house, and it's pretty easy to see that they have completely given up on any sort of cleaning around the house by now. Exhibit a) was huge chunks of tobacco in the chair. I get pretty paranoid out here, because I have an idea that my mom is testing me by putting dirt in all that corners and the places you normally wouldn't see. The last time I was here I found half a walnut suspiciousely placed in a 1 inch gap between 2 parts of the livingroom table. I smell a conspiracy.

If anybody is interested in the very mediocre game between Denmark and Scotland, there's an English article here.

And according to Ekstrabladet, the line between patriotism and skank-ism is getting increasingly blurred right here.

Oh, and John is getting all giddy about DJ'ing at The A-List, so he wrote this little propagande piece. It'll be just like that guy from High Fidelity playing at the Groucho Club - or something. Be there.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Silly Season.

Wow, it only took one day. Arsenal won the title on Sunday, with 4 rounds to go, and the next day Silly Season kicked off. I wasn't expecting this to happen until the league was all over and done with. People seem very confident Arsenal will buy Dutch rocker Robin van Persie Sledge, also it has been reported that Arsene Wenger wants Gerrard and John Terry, and of course Michael Owen. Because surely Arsenal have 50 million to blow on those 3 characters, since they were secretly taken over by a crazy Russian millionaire/landlord. People also seem confident Kluivert will be leaving Barca for Arsenal, but the jury is still out on whether Trezeguet will be heading for London or Barcelona next season, but considering his innate Frenchness London seems like a good guess. I predict Arsenal will score 200 goals next season.

Not that I care too much but the finale of Friends is coming up in America soon. Obviousely they expect it to be the highest rated TV event in the history of the universe, which is a bit sad. But I like this quote from Ananova very much:
"The final Friends is expected to get America's highest ever viewer rating and one rival channel has announced it isn't even bothering to put on a competing programme. Station staff will be filmed sitting in the studio watching Friends."

Monday, April 26, 2004

When I grow up I wanna be rich. Not just comfortable or well-off, not wealthy. I wanna be really, really rich. Extremely stinking rich. The kind of rich where you never have to do anything you don't want to do, like work and all that. And I want one of those two-door refridgerators, with an ice-machine, and I want it to always be full of coca-cola, so I don't always have to go through the hassle of getting it myself. I want groceries delivered to my door, and I want a really big TV, and I want a satellite dish and every TV channel in the world. I pretty much want to live like people do on MTV Cribs. I don't wanna be on Cribs, but I would like to live the life. I want more money than Ted Danson, but a bit less than Bill Gates.
The problem is that being a student doesn't really pay very well, and often leads directly to unemployment. If by chance I should find a job I am qualified to do, it's very unlikely it will pay Ted Danson-money. So now I need some way to get very rich, very fast. I've tried the lottery, but doesn't seem to work too well. I've tried to think of something to invent that everybody needs, but the fact of the matter is that almost everything has been invented by now. I'm running out of idea here, so if you have any ideas how I'll become a millionaire, and preferably very soon, feel free to drop a line. It'll really help a lot.

I could be happy with less, I guess,
if they told me that less is more.

Arsenal became champions of England, and thereby the world, yesterday, and hurra for that. I've spent all together too much time and energy, and money, watching football this season, and honestly it's a bit of a relief to finally know that there wille be no more nervous mornings or sleeples nights until August. Not any football related ones anyway...
It was however a bit of a bummer that Tottenham scored that late equalizer, not that it had any effect on the outcome, but it would have been nice to end it on a high. Now hopefully Arsenal will continue their unbeaten run for the rest of the season.

After the game we went to see Barck play at Voxhall, and they were surprisingly good. Of course they didn't win, because people have no taste, and would rather hear a band called Johnny På Havet, who sounds like everything that is wrong with Danish popmusic. So after seeing Barck rock the house, it was a bit of an anticlimax that they didn't win. But I guess you can't win everytime.

Oh, and Anders; a little fact about girls: If you say something about someone to a girl, the someone in question will hear it sooner or later. In this case it didn't even take 24 hours. You evil bastard!

Sunday, April 25, 2004


Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party-time necessity
Alchool, alternative to feeling like yourself
O Alcohol, I still drink to your health

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

Forget the caffe latte,
screw the raspberry iced tea
A Malibu and Coke for you, a G&T for me
Alcohol, Your songs resolve like
my life never will
When someone else is picking up the bill

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with
nothing else to do
I thought that drinking just to get drunk
was a waste of precious booze
But now I know that there's a time
and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between
self-control and self-abuse

I love you more than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
Would you please ignore that you
found me on the floor
Trying on your camisole?
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else.

(Barenaked Ladies.)

Friday, April 23, 2004

Loneliness is a blunt instrument,
Not unlike a tuba stuff'd with rags.

I've always thought Paul Newman was quite cool. I guess most people think that, especially those who have seen Cool Hand Luke, and to a lesser extent The Hudsucker Proxy which has always been a favorite of mine. And now comes this. Paul, you shouldn't be running around saying "24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not." if you don't mean it...

And if you're into badgers, and honestly who isn't? Go visit Lardy's Homepage. I especially like this picture and the Love Poem for a Beaver .

Blender have released their list of the 50 worst singles ever, and though I agree with a lot of their choices, Aqua and Rednex get dishonorable mentions and it's absolutely impossible to say anything nice about Ob-la-di Ob-la-da, I am a bit confused by their choice for number one. I actually quite like We Built This City by Starship, it's a classic. It's not exactly something I own on CD or anything, but everytime they show it on VH1 I make sure to crank my TV, and that's gotta count for something.

And speaking of wierd songs, I recently heard Bonnie & Clyde by Serge Gainsbourg, and it's absolutely fantastic, so I have to figure out some way to get my hands on a copy of that. Feel free to help me in my quest and one day maybe you too will sing 'Böööööönnie & Clüide'.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride
I'm wanted dead or alive.

Tomorrow is my first day as a freelance cleening lady. It's not something I'm terribly proud of, but I've got a gig cleaning my parent's house, because my mom has decided that she's done more than enough cleaning in her lifetime, which is fair enough. But it also gives me a chance to do some laundry for free, and get some of my folk's excellent food every now and then. Also, my old trustworthy bike has been fixed up, so soon I will be cruising around town on my black steel horse (yeah, I can hear you all giggling, and yeah, it will be a farce...).

The Champions League semis are a bit of an anticlimax, so I'm looking very much forward to seeing some decent footy on Sunday, when Arsenal will hopefully win the league. Afterwards I'll go see local heroes Barck play at Voxhall. The bass player is an old friend of mine, but I think I would go see them even if I didn't know any of them. Any band that lists Faith No More, Skid Row and Sepultura as influences has got to be cool!

Can anybody explain what the deal is with Sex and the City? They show it on TV all the time, and apparently it's really popular, and quite surprisingly there's a lot of cool guest actors like Ron Livingston, David Duchovny and The Kid, but I don't get it. Maybe it's some kind of women's humour that I can't really decipher, or maybe I just need to get in touch with my feminine side. I haven't been this confused since I accidentally read a Nicoline Werdelin comic strip in a newspaper.

Monday, April 19, 2004

It's Like McCarthyism with a Smileyface.

I wouldn't say I'm a slow reader, not that I'm a fast reader or even speed reader, but it takes me quite a while to complete a book. I'd say I'm a confused reader. Since TV has systematically reduced my attention span, I have developed that kind of zapper-mentality where I can only read for a limited time, and then I lose interest for a while and go do other stuff. Lately I've had 2 books on my nightstand which I've tried to read simultaniously (they're both essay collections, which makes it less confusing), and today I actually finished 31 Songs, which by no means is an impressive feat since it is embassasingly short, but hey, it's one thing to cross off my things-to-do list.
I've always been a fan of Nick Hornby, but I actually found this one quite boring. Of course it had some very quoteworthy sections, but as a rule of thumb autobiographies are always more interesting when they're about anarchists with an appetite for destruction, than when they're about middleaged guys who don't like their art to be scary anymore. But I'm sure Mr. Hornby would say that I feel that way because I'm still a kid and still have a lot of living to do, so maybe I should read it again when I'm old enough to comprehend the finer nuances of a Patti Smith song. Hopefully it will be a while.

I have also started working on what will hopefully turn out to be a 20 page paper on Anti-Communism in America. My focus will be on The House Un-American Activities Committee (HUAC), The Hollywood Ten, The Screen Actors Guild vs The Screen Writers Guild and all that jazz, so hopefully I'll be able to take a couple of cheap shots at Nixon (who was on the committee) and Reagan (who was president of SAG), and once and for all convince the academic environment that Humphrey Bogart was a cool cat. It's kinda weird because I feel like I know most of the stuff there is to know, I just have to go out and find the books and read them again so I can quote people who have more credability than myself. So I can't just say "Yeah, Bogart went to Washington to demonstrate against the HUAC hearings, even though he himself was not a communist" because when the teacher asks me where I know that from, I'll have to say "ehhhh, there was this show on the E! network about it...", and suddenly I have less academic streetcred than Bjorn Lomborg.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

Just a little note to congratulate Glasgow Celtic in winning the Scottish Premier League with 6 games to go. Amazingly both Celtic and Arsenal won in '98, 2002 and now look to repeat the double in 2004, and this time it even looks like they can both go through the leagues undefeated. Coincidence? I think not!

I think that if I was an openly homosexual guy, I would try to avoid being known as Cremekongen! (The King of Cream.)

People who use Blogbot are generally less interested in football than everybody else, so when I start a post by mentioning Arsenal or something I get less hits from Blogbot than I usually get. Which in turn means that I have no regular readers on blogbot, but only people who are intrigued enough by the three lines that are shown to go to my blog, and then never come back. So now I have the choice that I can either say "well, screw that. I write this for my own pleasure", and basically not care about getting any hits, or I can start every post with something like "So, I got caught in this lesbian love-triangle the other day", and watch the hits come rolling in. And being the complete whore for attention I am, this might be the future of this weblog.
I signed this weblog up for nope.dk, mostly because I can't sleep today and got really bored. I doubt it will have much of an effect, but time will tell.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

Football is good these days. With a fantastic win yesterday, and United and Chelsea stumbling today, it's beginning to look like Arsenal will win the league sooner than I would have dared to hope. And that being in Tottenham as well.

Muse are one of the coolest bands in the world. Not only because they make excellent music, but also because they're completely bonkers. Recently they had to cut a gig short in Atlanta because Matt somehow hurt his mouth on the guitar. How you do that is a bit of a mystery to me, but he did. And now they've put photographic evidence on their website. So if you wanna see pictures of a rockstar's mouth covered in gore, go to the photo album on their website, and look under Atlanta Claret (it's made in Flash, so I can't link to it).

My Abercromie & Fitch hoodie arrived in the mail today, and I was shocked that it actually fit perfect. Especially because it said that it was "muscle fit", and to be honest I am neither muscle or fit.

Finally I will link to this frightening piece of literature. Personally I don't think kids should be denied the Harry Potter because he is a advocate of dark magic. I think they should be denied the Harry Potter books because he is a speccy twat on a broom.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

Terkel vs. Jesus.

We went to see Terkel i Knibe (Which means Terkel in Trouble. Terkel being the kid's name.) tonight, and it was really funny. I hadn't heard the radio series, so I only knew very little about the story, but I thought it was incredibly funny, and there was hardly a dull moment. I would love to see how people from other countries react to it, because the humour is very dark and very Danish. As far as I know it will be shown at the Tribeca film festival.

Can anyone explain me the title The Passion of the Christ? Is there not a the too many? His name is Jesus Christ, right? So it should be called The Passion of Christ. When you call him The Christ it sounds like one of those NBA players: Yeah man, The Christ played a good game today. The Romans got in some good shots, but the Christ stood firm. That thing with Judas was definitely foul play, but The Christ did not let it get to him, and overall The Christ sees this as a moral victory.
I would have called it The Passion of Christ. Actually I would have called it Jesus i Knibe, but that's another story..

Primal Scream, and Shout. Let That Mother Out.

I would like to give a shoutout to the nice people at Vh1! They just made my day by playing Primal Scream by Mötley Crüe. Possibly one of the greatest guitar-solos of all time. One of my friends noted: "Yeah, it's getting a bit of airplay these days, and it's not a damn second too soon!" I have so maný weird memories with that song about being 14, being totally out of touch with reality, playing A Rockstar Ate My Hamster on Amiga and hanging, and rocking, out with the other glam/metal-heads back in Søften. That song was on the soundtrack to many a party and a lot of antisocial behaviour.
If I ever do a Hornbyesque 31 Songs type book, I could easily fill 2 chapters with that song.

Stranger than Fiction.

One of my friends got a new job yesterday. Not a new job like I get them, but a real job that will make him a lot of money and most pobably stick with him for a while. So a bit of celebration was in place, which took place at Studenterbaren. The clientel at studenterbaren is really strange; the local chess club seems to hang out there, as well as the local backgammon club, which is why I mention it. In the bathroom I saw one of the weirdest sights. I was washing my hands, listening to 2 backgammon guys talking about a recent tournament. Then suddenly one of them snapped totally and they started screaming at each other, because one of them said to the other guy that he had to work on his psyche, whatever that means! I really would have liked to see them battle it out, but because they were kinda scrawny, like I guess most backgammon guys are, they just yelled at each other an left. And left me quite puzzled.

I heard some great news today. Well, great if you're me anyway, which I presume you aren't. Wilco are playing in Copenhagen on July 6. which is 2 days after Roskilde, which means that with a bit of luck I'll be in Copenhagen and able to see them. Nice!

Also I'll be seing Danish animated film Terkel i Knibe tonight, which I'm actually looking quite forward to.

I had some more thing I wanted to write, but now I can't remember anything, so it probably wasn't very important. If you're bored and you need something to read, I recomend Sarah's open letter to Jessica Simpson.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Policia para quem Precisa de Policia.

If you've read this blog for a while, you might remember that I have a thing for Winnie the Pooh. My favorite character has always been Tigger, because I remember him from the cartoons as this totally hyperactive crazy character who is always bouncing around, confidently exclaiming "That's what Tiggers do best". Well, apparently Tigger grew up to be a bit of a player, and has allegedly groped 24 women at Disney World, which means he beat Schwarzenegger's record. (What ever happened to that Schwarzenegger groping thing anyway?). I got to admit that Tigger is still my favorite.

I completely stole this from Emme, but here's an explanation of the mystery of beer-bubbles.

Yesterday I complained about being the only Heavy Metal blogger in Denmark. This turned out to be untrue, so without further ado I give you Revolution Music.

We saw City of God tonight which was really cool. It's kinda weird to see a movie in Portoguese, or Brazilian or whatever. The only few words I know are from one Sepultura song, so there was a lot of subtitle-reading and trying to remember which 15-letter name belonged to which character. And those names are not at all spelled the way they are prenounced! But it was still a really cool movie.

Monday, April 12, 2004

I Wanna Rock n' Roll All Night - And Part of Every Day.

Oh yes, I know you have been craving this. It's time for some more Heavy Metal news. Since the subject is so disgracefully neglected both on Frekvens and here, I have like so many other times taken it upon me to be the only Danish blogger concerned with the state of metal music.
I recently got my clammy hands on a copy of the new Machine Head album, and as expected, it's really good. You can download a free track here. There's also a new Slipknot single which is not so hot; it appears numbers 0 through 7 have told number 8 to sing like a girl. Or something.
Also, the new Local H album is out in the states, which means that soon I'll be pestering all my friends with it, telling them that it's the greatest band in the world. Get used to it!
Oh and if you're from the Roskilde Festival, here's a little tip for you. Since Korn is the closest thing to a metal band this year, you might wanna check up on Machine Head who are playing in Europe from July 2., which leaves them free to play Roskilde on July 1. Deal?

Sunday, April 11, 2004

Oh Yes, Wyoming.

I suspect everybody have seen this by now, but just in case you haven't there's no time like the present.
The Seinfeld and Superman commercial is here, and it's brilliant! [via interestingstuff] The weirdest thing on that website is that the clock on the wall actually is accurate. Why?

Saturday, April 10, 2004

I just took the 80's Lyrics test, and scored 40.7 points which I think was alright considering the lack of metal questions. And it turns out the lyrics don't go I'm high as a kite and I just might nanana check you out.

I won 244dkr betting on English football, and I would have won 280 more if Monaco could win agains Lens, but apparently that wasn't to be. So for once I've actually got a plus on my account, but still I'm more bummed out about the money I didn't win, even though I should be happy about winning anything.

And with Chelsea failing to score today, Arsenal look good to win the league., Good stuff!

That royal wedding is really getting to me. Why anybody cares about the royal wedding is beyond me. I mean, they are a bunch of nobodies who do absolutely nothing, except travelling around the world and going to fancy tea parties. AND they're getting more money for it than I'll ever get. One of the headlines in today's newspaper is "Mary's ex is a luggage carrier". And so what? Her next ex will be the prince of Denmark, and does anyone care? Her only claim to fame is shagging the prince, and now everybody thinks she's the greatest thing to come out of Australia since Crocodile Dundee. Why is it that when somebody shags a rich guy they're golddiggers, but when somebody scores the prince they're elegant, eloquent and perfect rolemodels? We're supposed to be a relatively advanced civilization, so why people hang on to such a lame and outdated institution is something I will never understand. We might as well start sacrificing firstborns to ensure a good harvest.

And speaking of no-talent nobodies, there's some norwegian contest winner called Kurt , who looks like the fat guy from Junior Senior,who has made a version of Tal Bachmann's otherwise very good popsong She's So High. Why? That song is like 2 years old. And that guy Alex who quit popstars because he wanted to make his own music has made a version of I Believe I Can Fly, whích makes absolutely no sense. People are idiots.

There's a message in this bottle, I'm gonna drink untill I find it.

I didn't find it yesterday, but I made a damn good try. I have a feeling today will be very much like my writing; fragmented, lazy, and only sporadically interesteing.

Phone call:
Friend: So, what are you doing?
Me: Eh, nothing much. Just relaxing, listening to, ehhh, Journey.

That can't be good! Now they're playing Every Rose on VH1. Gotta go!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane??? No, it's hurtige Henry.

I'm still totally blown away by yesterdays game. More dramatically inclined people will talk about team spirit, togethernes, strength of character, survival instincts, sublime technique. The only thing I have to say is kick-ass!
Now I know why it's called Good Friday. And I also know why people in Denmark call it Long Friday!

Friday, April 09, 2004

Insert Headline Here.

Well, for those who are looking forward to, or dreading, the game tomorrow, here's a little nugget of good news.

We made a decision to see the final part of The Matrix tonight. I'd only heard bad things about it, so logically it would be virtually impossible to get dissapointed by it. Regular readers might recall my thoughts on the second part of the trillogy. It turned out that my brain had blocked all memories of part II out, so I was a bit lost and I can't say that I understood all that happened. The only memorable quote from that movie was towards the end when some guy says: It doesn't make any sense. No Sir, it doesn't.

Do you know that feeling where when you can't get to a computer you have 1000 great ideas for your weblog, and then when you finally get down to it and start writing you're completely blank? And I was so sure I would be writing Pullitzer material...

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Last time I made a link to the Budweiser page, there was some kind of error, but this time it should work. So, there should be a little greeting from a very Scottish me here before the game tomorrow...

Recently blog posts have been few, lame and far between. But all that should hopefully be about to change right now. I just purchased a new computer from one of my friends, which only set me back 800 dkr, so updates should be flying thick and thin in the future.

It doesn't take a genious to figure out that the last couple of days have been really awful football-wise; Arsenal losing to Man U and Chelsea in the cup and Champions League, and Chelsea only being 4 points behind in the league. So now the more pessimistic Arsenal fans are talking about another year without any trophies. We'll see about that...
I, for one, tried to keeps spirits high after the Chelsea defeat, so I decided to wear my old Arsenal shirt when I went out to play some football. This resulted in me getting mocked by some guy passing by on a bike, and some kid who yelled at me on the football pitch. Bastards. And I also got a mocking text message from a number I don't know. People are bastards.

Lately I have also decided to make a couple of lifestyle adjustments, nothing too crazy, so you won't see me in the gym anytime soon, but it's basically about doing less things that are bad for me and more things that are good. Ironically, the bad things also cost a lot of money, so cutting back on nights on the town, and instead doing the 'early to rise, early to bed', will make me healthy, wealthy and boring.

That's it for now. Hopefully all faith in the Gunners will be restored this time tomorrow.

Saturday, April 03, 2004

Your Superhero Persona by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero NameThe Bankruptcy Lawyer
Super PowerX-Ray Vision
EnemyCircus Clowns
Mode Of TransportationCadillac With Rims
WeaponVinyl Records
Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

There's a nifty little feature on Budweiser.com where you can upload your pictures and make them talk rubbish about United players. Thank you Budweiser for saving yet another day!

I've retreated to my parents' place today, because it's my mom's birthday. There's not really a lot going on right now, the computer situation should be under control now, and come Monday I should be the proud owner of a brand new used computer. Yippie!

Arsenal just lost a very boring game againsy United, but I can't say I'm too heartbroken about it. maybe it's just because I'm a bit tired today, but I couldn't really get excited about the FA Cup today. As long as they win the league I'm quite content. Poul Scholes is a bastard though.
When it comes to people who aren't bastards, Mr Ranieri is definitely on that list, and there's a very nice article about him in the Sun. I especially like the quote: “I am amazed. It seems I am very popular with supporters — people from everywhere, like Newcastle, have written to me."
The was also supposed to be an article where Gary Neville says: "I'm so sorry I made up a story about Henry and Lauren getting into a fight, it's just because I'm such a great old tosser and all round pathetic bastard. Now I'll go sodomize a donkey", but for some reason I can't find it on the Sun's website, so if anybody finds it, please leave it in my comments thing.

And thumbs up to Larsen & Furious Jane for naming a song Cupid Stunt!

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