| ...WAITING FOR A TRUCK |
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Arsenal
Comments by YACCS |
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
I got this list e-mailed from a friend, and I thought it was pretty funny. Mostly because I don't live in America. But here goes:
Things to do before the inauguration of George W. Bush as second-term President, on January 20, 2005. Get that abortion you've always wanted Drink a nice clean glass of water. Cash your Social Security check Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild Visit Europe, or any foreign country anywhere for that matter Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying. Hoard gasoline Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now Come out of the closet - then go back in - HURRY! Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can. Stay out late before the curfews start. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident". Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition. Use the phrase - "you can't do that - this is America". Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class. Start your school day without a prayer. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations. Learn French. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill". Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State. I don't know who wrote it originally, but big props to whoever it was. Please don't sue me for copyright infringements. Thursday, December 23, 2004
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
'tis the season to be jolly...
It's been a bit quiet here lately, in part because I haven't had anything to say, and partly because my monitor died. But my very kind father came by with their old monitor, so now order has been restored. It's only 10.30 AM, but so far it's been a very nice day for me, safe in the knowledge that I don't have to think about school for a while. So today has been all about listening to some nice music (Sugarbabes' Overload and Machine Head's excellent version of Negative Creep). All this will change in a few minutes when I go down to buy Christmas gifts. I don't wan't to get all Scrooge-y about it, but I absolutely hate being downtown when it's crowded. Humbug! Later it's the big Christmas Party in my dorm, so hopefully I'll get my shopping done today, so I don't have to go again tomorrow, when my head is trying to kill me with the cunning use of snaps. *Gah* Wednesday, December 15, 2004
I've been neglecting the ol' blogosphere a bit lately, but then again, there's not very much to say these days. Our movie is about done, and will premiere tomorrow.
It turns out that Zach Braff, the star of Scrubs, has his own blog,(via Charlotte) which just made blogs a wee bit nerdier, and that his new movie Garden State is getting great reviews. Knowing the Danish movietheatres, I'll probably have to wait for it to go straight for DVD. Apart from that, I've got nothing... except, what the hell are Everton doing at number two? Thursday, December 09, 2004
How can some guy jump the stage and start shooting his gun? It just doesn't make any sense. I don't want to go into elaborate writing about this, but I'll just state that the untimely death of of Dimebag Darrell Abbott is a huge tragedy, and that he was one of my favorite guitarplayers of all time. Vulgar Display of Power pretty much changed the way I listened to music, and, maybe just as important, how cool exactly one band could be. How anyone could ever do this will forever be a riddle to me.
Damageplan Pantera Anthrax Wednesday, December 01, 2004
False Modesty is the Worst Kind of Vanity.
Local football team, AGF, are not allowed to buy Swedish prettyboy Tobias Grahn, because their economy is, well, non-existant. You could of course argue that they're economy won't get any better if they sell the one player that keeps them from being in the bottom of the league, but I doubt the Danish FA care much for that kind of reasoning. AGF generally have a bit of trouble finding investors, and honestly I'm not surprised. I imagine investing in AGF is a lot like giving money to a homeless person; you know that they'll just blow it all on something stupid, and in 5 minutes they're broke again and back on the street begging. So, in yet another way, AGF is the big ugly bum of Danish football. I have decided to create a 'vanity-blog' dedicated to our movie projects, called La Mancha Films. It seems that all our movieprojects have a tendency to go down the drain, much like Terry Gilliams' version of Don Quixote. So I figured that at least I could have a bit of fun with it. Sunday, November 28, 2004
The Wiggle of Judas.
I can't really think of anything interesting to say these days. Anders has already written about our trip to Holland, so the only thing I will add is that my entire body is still aching from the busride, and that I got a funky infection in my eye, which means I have to rub it with antibiotics. Which is disgusting and gooey. Paul O'Flaherty is another Gooner in Denmark, so rock on Paul. (...and not a word about Liverpool!) If you want, you can read what a 'Chav' is (I didn't know), and then perhaps you will enjoy this animation/song called Chavhemian Rhapsody. And finally a little bit of sillynes for those who like journalists who muck up: James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?" That's it for today, feel free to continue discussing Tapas in the comments.... Sunday, November 21, 2004
Seltzer, not Salsa.
Have you ever noticed how culinaric trends have a tendency to sneak up on you, and suddenly you're surrounded by them, and wondering "How the hell did that happen?". When I was a young teenager growing up in the Danish countryside, I had no idea what salsa was, and then suddenly it was everywhere, even to the point where you got a bowl of salsa if you ordered fries when you where bowling in Hadsten. Then came the sundried tomato-craze. If somebody had offered me a tomato, that had been out in the sun for too long, a couple of years ago I would have though he was crazy. But now if you don't like sundried tomatos, people look at you like you're some kind of retard. Today I realized that I'm being surrounded by Tapas. Now, I have no idea exactly what a Tapa is, but I know that they are out there, and that people who are a bit trendier than me enjoy them regularly. I'm not sure I feel comfortable around Tapas. Today I had a hotdog for breakfast, and pizza for lunch. Good stuff! Thursday, November 18, 2004
There was U2 and Blondie
and music still on MTV When you sign up for a class like film history, you know that there is going to be a lot of different stuff you have to put up with. Some days you're going to be half asleep for the 6 hour duration of the lectures. A movie like The Searchers did absolutely nothing for me, like I also have to admit that I would never watch Potemkin if I didn't have to. Today, however, was a completely other story, since we have finally gotten to the horror movies. How often do you go to a class and watch the openings of Peeping Tom and Halloween, followed by a castration scene from I Spit on Your Grave (apparently the worst movie Roger Ebert has ever seen. The big weenie.), the ending of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, loads of talk about The Fly and oher great stuff, and end up watching a rather disgusting old woman eating her own ear in a bowl of custard. Brilliant stuff! Right now, I'm gonna watch MTV Europe Awards, which is apparently being hosted by the guy from Pimp My Ride. Very impressive! I'm just hoping he will get tackled by Paolo Di Canio, who is apparently also there. Friday, November 12, 2004
November Rust.
Well, I am now embarking on another weekend filled with non-alcoholic non-mayhem. November is still abstinence month, and I am glad to say that I am still going strong, even though people have tried to lure me downtown, and to the Friday-bar. Tonight will be spent watching the, hopefully, brilliant 3rd season of Black Books, and tomorrow I'm heading home to visit my parents, which is about time since I have no clean clothes left. Tomorrow is also the day where Arsenal will bounce back (unless I just jinxed them) at Three Point Lane. It would be very unlike Myles Palmer not to have written his regular Joda-esque mumbo-jumbo about such an event, so here it is. And Joe Rey reckons Arsenal are getting complacent, which is a very keen observation. In England a veritable who's who of sell out popstars want to sing Bono's line in Do They Know I'ts Christmas, because he is the Papa Smurf of the sell out popstar community. Unfortunately Bono has told them to f*ck off, so now they they will all be melted into gold by Gargamel. Except Justin Hawkins, who will never have a hit song again because he realizes that he looks like Peter Frampton in drag. Anyway, for the U2/Do They Know It's Christmas joke go here. The best autumn record in the world is by far October Rust by Type O Negative, unfortunately I just realized that my copy has gone missing, so if any of you have my copy please let me know. Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
'While Arsenal's first team cannot win right now, their Carling Cup youngsters can do no wrong. Try explaining that one.'
A weird thing, by the way. We recently had a lecture on Georges Méliès' Le Voyage Dans La Lune, and everytime I tried to recall some images from that movie I inadvertently thought of images from Smashing Pumpkins' Tonight video. I just watched the video again now, and it is really brilliantly made. I had completely forgotten how cool it was. Saturday, November 06, 2004
You're Toxic, I'm Slippin' Under.
Click here to listen to Local H's version of Britney's Toxic. It's absolutely beautiful! And after the re-election of Mr Bush, the lyrics for President Forever are as poignant as ever. If there was any justice in the world, it would become a major hit, but what are the odds? And on popular demand, I have now created a new flag for my highly jingoistic nation. It should portray our national animal. Friday, November 05, 2004
The Jingoistic States of Nausea and Delirium is a tiny, socially progressive nation, notable for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, hard-working population of 5 million enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated. The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Social Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 15%. A healthy private sector is led by the Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Information Technology industries. Crime is moderate. Nausea and Delirium's national animal is the Ratt-monkey and its currency is the Horsens.
[via Angela]
Monday, November 01, 2004
I was a bit surprised to see that you can actually buy G-Unit shoes in Århus. It was of course less of a surprise that they didn't have any Slayer shoes. I never thought it would happen, but that new single from Lazyboy really had me laughing at work today. It's called Underwear Goes Inside The Pants, and if you haven't heard it you can see the lyrics here. This is funny, and so is this. And I do realize that it is J-Dag on Friday. People look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them that I'm not gonna drink on J-Dag. I have actually had to tell a few people that it is infact not a real holiday. I do look a bit forward to being the only guy who remembers how he got home Friday night, and perhaps even get out of bed early Saturday morning, take a walk around town and pretend I'm in Dawn of the Dead. If prenounced with a proper Århus dialect, J-Dag rhymes with "Møgdag", and I bet there's a reason for it. Sunday, October 31, 2004
A Farewell to Arms.
A while ago I decided that I would not touch alcohol for the entire month of November. No beer, no wine, no booze, no nothing. Not even during football games. It's gonna be hard, well mostly boring, but I'm confident I can do it. As a wise man once said: Life is short and hard, like a bodybuilding elf. Yesterday we had the Tour de Chambre in the dorm where I live. I had a Metrosexual theme, with Tequila Sunrises with little umbrellas and straws. And a very red shirt. I think it went pretty well, and I can say right now I'm looking very much forward to November. By the way, am I the only one who can't think about A Farewell to Arms, without thinking about that scene in Evil Dead where he cuts of his hand (Which has come alive and tries to kill him), traps it in a bucket and puts A Farewell to Arms on top of it? It's so very clever! Saturday, October 30, 2004
Enjoy Bob Saget.
I don't know why it is people turn into idiots on a friday evening. Actually I have a pretty clear idea why, but still I've noticed that my tolerance for drunken idiots is shrinking by the minute. My tolerance towards people who talk during movies also isn't what it used to be. We saw Collatoral which I liked quite a lot. Definitely better than Heat, but then again I never was too hot for Heat. Right now I'm watching this piece of sh*te, which, even though it is directed by Bob Saget, is very stupid. Who ever told Chris Farley he was funny, needs to get his ass kicked right now. Tomorrow is the Tour de Chambre, where I have finally found a suiting theme. This means, among other things, that I will have to make homemade guacamole before I can get down to the pub and watch Arsenal. And this is way cool. Wednesday, October 27, 2004
He's Only Seventeen, He's Better Than Roy Keane.
Tonight they showed the Arsenal youngsters play against Man City. It wasn't a fantastic game, but at least there were a couple of goals from Van Persie and Danny Karbassiyoon (Picture), and they were actually pretty great goals as well. For a team with a 17 year old Spaniard with a mullet as the one with most routine, it is very impressive stuff. The game also proved that we need Stuart Taylor back, instead of that Almunia guy. Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Handbags-gate II
Last night sources at Old Trafford, some based at the Manchester ground for decades, said the scenes were "like nothing ever witnessed here before". Okay, I admit that throwing food is not a very dignified way to go about losing a game, but it is one of those things The Sun is blowing totally out of proportion. It's not like anyone is going to get injured by an airborne pepperoni slice. So just for fun I thought I would show some other Man U highlights that apparently rank just below a flying dinner. This classic picture is Cantona doing his Bruce Lee impersonation for the spectators. A nice detail is that they, according to legend, pelted him with their afternoon tea afterwards. 
This picture is Roy Keane pretty much putting an end to Alfie Haaland's career. Then he went on to brag about it in his book, before the FA threw the book at him. Or something. 
While I do realize that this last picture is Roy Keane playing for Ireland, I just like it so much because it just shows how much skill he picked up by playing next to a legend like Cantona. Also because he's soo close to getting the ball. 
Update : "The running gag yesterday, referring to Arsenal's centre-half and United's left-back, was whether the alleged soup was Campbell's or Heinz's," wrote the Independent. Sunday, October 24, 2004
BULLETIN
Thompson, long known for the eerie accuracy of his political instincts, went on to denounce Ralph Nader as "a worthless Judas Goat with no moral compass." "I endorsed John Kerry a long time ago," he said, "and I will do everything in my power, short of roaming the streets with a meat hammer, to help him be the next President of the United States."
- Hunter is back at Rolling Stone.
On a different note I'm back from a very long and hard, but also incredibly funny weekend. I can't really be arsed to write anything about it right now, mostly because I don't know where to start. But a very good time was had, and if everything goes according to plan, some pictures will be posted later.
Friday, October 22, 2004
 Today I'll be going for a trip with my new co-students. We're all supposed to come as a character from a movie, and as so many before me, I will be dressed as Hunter S. Thompson. And I do expect some fear and loathing...  Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Heh. Silly, silly Tottenham. Of course they should have realised they stood no chance against the mighty Portsmouth!
And in a flash of genious, MTV are now playing Down In A Hole by Alice In Chains. Good stuff! Monday, October 18, 2004
Send Lawyers, Guns and Money.
It turned out to be a great weekend, football-wise, with Arsenal getting some distance to Man U and Chelsea, Silkeborg beating the living daylights out of FCK, and me spending two hours in the pouring rain watching AGF-AaB. This is pretty funny. There's actually a car outside the house I live in with a Kerry/Edwards bumpersticker, which I find pretty amazing since people are now more into American politics than Danish politics. This is a brilliant piece of journalism. The headline is, anyway. And what are the good people of Franz Ferdinand thinking? Hanging out with that speccy twat on a broom can't possibly be good for your indietegrity. Wednesday, October 06, 2004
My Unified Theory of Everything.
Everybody who knows me will undoubtedly agree that I am a bit of a science buff. Not a week goes by where I do not study the newest scientific journals, just to catch up, and to learn. The mind is never full, you know, and there is always room for more information. It was recently brought to my attention that a trio of American scientists had been awarded the Nobel Prize for physics, for their 'Theory of Everything'. Two things bother me about this event: 1) Their theory is quite obviousely a bunch of quasi-scientific mumbo-jumbo, and words that were made-up on the spot. Quarks, for eksample, is obviousely not a real word! 2) I myself have long since formulated a 'Theory of Everything', without getting due recognition from those stuck-up Swedish Nobel bastards. I even formulated it as an easily remembered sentence, as seen below, which is of course the mark of a truly great scintist. Albert Einstein, E=MC2 anybody? Mine is even easier to remember! 
Well, screw you Nobel crew, and thanks for nothing! My theory shall from now on be known as Roy's Law §1, and history will prove me right. Just you wait and see.
Monday, October 04, 2004
Live life like you're gonna die. Because you are.
It has been a quiet couple of days in the blogosphere. Mostly because tehere hasn't been mush going on. Too much work and school and homework, and shooting and editing a short film. All in all pretty uneventful stuff. Good news in films, as it seems The Rum Diary is finally going to be made. Right now I'm listening to the new William Shatner album, and quite surprisingly, it's really pretty good. Okay, maybe it's because it sounds a lot like Ben Folds, but still. I suggest you give it a try, and then if you like it, you can go here for a download featuring Ben Folds, Aimee Mann and Nick Hornby. Monday, September 27, 2004
Musicians talking about the upcoming election:
When people ask why this election is so close, I can't explain it. It's like trying to figure out how Billy Ray Cyrus sold 10 million records. (Jeff Tweedy, Wilco) Bush is like someone's old dad who just doesn't get it, a person who's not able to grow or change. Among musicians, no one is backing Bush. Except for Ted Nugent, the guy who wears loincloths. (Tom DeLonge, Blink 182) Good stuff...  Following Cat Stevens', or Yussuf Islam's, recent return to the spotlight, The Verve are now also hoping to reboost their career by converting. Monday, September 20, 2004
While Thierry Henry was redecorating the exterior of Old Trafford, he was shocked to learn that I had put all my eggs in one basket, and bet on Djibril Cisse as the first goalscorer in tonights game. Thierry will probably never look at me the same way again. Sunday, September 19, 2004
Good wine is milk for the aged.
I don't know why I thought about this today, but in a couple of months I'll turn 25. So here are a couple of facts that make getting old depressing.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
The New Yorker has a really great interview with the press secretary for the Embassy of Kazakhstan, who wants to clear up some misconceptions about his country created by Borat. [via Aziz]
Ramones guitarist Johnny Ramone dies at 55. And that's about all I have to say today. Monday, September 13, 2004
"I'm a teenage schizoid, the one your parents despise" It's a little known Hollywood fact, that in the original draft for Fight Club Edward Norton was supposed to play soccer for the Danish club Silkeborg IF at night. Sunday, September 12, 2004
A New High in Lows.
There is absolutely nothing possitive to say about Resident Evil: Apocalypse. It is without a doubt one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Obviousely I had very low expectations going in, but it still managed to catch me offguard with a level of stupidity I did not believe to be possible. The acting was outrageously poor, with one low point being Chritopher Titus' brother playing a soldier with the worst Russian accent since Malkovich in Rounders. And that's pretty bad! Saturday, September 11, 2004
Wow, the new Duran Duran single is about as interesting as the chicken and fries I got at a cheap pub in London. Bland doesn't even start to describe it. It like licking on a calcium lollipop. Or something.
Aston Villa are also pretty boring, despite their excellent new Hummel outfits. Jose "Drillo" Mourinho is an arrogant twat, which is his best trait, and boring geezer. My hope is that Mutu can stay at Chelsea and stay injury-free since he is as dangerous as a spork. And I just ordered this T-Shirt. Beautiful. Thursday, September 09, 2004
Put the "F" Back in Freedom.
Why have I only just discovered this now? This is going to be the greatest movie ever! Check out the trailer for Team America: World Police. Also, I was fortunate enough to see Shaun of the Dead yesterday, and overall it was pretty hillarious. For some reason Dylan Moran was utterly under-used, and though "3 guys beating an old zombie to the rythm of an old Queen song" may look funny on paper, it really wasn't. But apart from that it was pretty good. I think I had some other things to write, but I'm still so blown away by that Team America thing. Maybe later... Sunday, September 05, 2004
It's Just The E Talking...
This is probably one of the best articles I've ever read. It's in Danish, so I can't be arsed to translate it, but it includes an elderly prostitute, a guy in lingerie, and amphetamine. I finally got my copy of the new Soulwax album, and it's really rather brilliant. It's a lot darker, and not quite as experimental, as their previous album, but the songs are generally better. Except for when they decide to make dance music. A bit of a mistake. And I have a hard time following the plot in Buffy in recent weeks... When did Johnny from Two Guys and a Girl get to be so evil? Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Rock n' Roll All Night and Part of Every Day.
Normally I'm anything but spontane, but today some of my friends asked me if I wanted to come with them to Rome, and instead of thinking it to death I just said sure and bought a ticket. So now it appears I'll be going to Rome for a week in Febuary, which will probably be great. I haven't been to Italy for ages, actually the last time I went More Than Words was the biggest hit of the summer, and they played Cut n' Move on the radio. Yesterday we went to a great, big rock n roll party, arranged by the lovely people at Sway, and I'm glad to say that the local underground is alive and kicking. Especially Magnified Eye and Burning Primitive were really good. Today I went down to a café to see one of my friends play his debut concert which also went really well. There are no traces of him on the internet, except for this which I imagine is a bit outdated, but I did find a homepage where someone has stolen his nickname. How rude! Wednesday, August 25, 2004
I know Sir John will go, though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs.
When it rains it pours, and right now it is raining cats and dogs. The Danish summer is officially dead, gone and over. I have now ordered the new Soulwax album, which should arrive in a couple of days. If you want to check out their new single, and video, you should be able to find it here. D'Urso is, as they say, D'Urso, and this is the dumbest thing a ref can ever do. Even D'Urso. "The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears." - A funny roundup of jokes from a stand-up festival in Edinburgh. [stolen from Lasse] If you live in Aarhus, think about checking this out. Everyone who knows me knows that if a football player gets on one of my dreamteams, it is effectively a kiss of death to his career. And so, in that great tradition, my topscorer in the Danish league, has decided to pack up the cats and move to the Spanish 2. Division. Meanwhile, most of my other players have failed to open their goalscoring accounts, and I am therefore dead-last in both our Danish and English league. Still I have to say that English football is still the secondbest thing to actually having a life. And when do I learn never to put money on Liverpool? Jebus... Friday, August 20, 2004
What the Doctor Ordered.
Aaaargh, as always I'm having a bit of computer problems, but hopefully it's under control now that I have beefed up the security with "Zone alarm". And in an attempt to drag my nerd-status to the cutting edge, I also installed Firefox. Also, I have realised that the thing holding me back from being a great author, is in fact my writing. Hemmingway never, to my knowledge, started a chapter with "aaargh". One of the weird things about being on Fanø was all the German tv-stations we had. German tv, for those who don't know, is incredibly poor. So we generally zapped between CNN and VIVA, and on the way between them we stumbled across more commercials for phonesex with "gejle omas", than I ever care to think of again. I am not one to judge people, but that is one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen in my life. Really. Luckily we also stumbled across a quite brilliant show called Travel Sick. It was one of those Jackass spin off shows, but with a realy funny host, and the challenges he had to face was a lot more quirky because they were based on where he was in the world. In Hong Kong he had to perform a John Woo-style stunt, put a cobra down his pants and kick a kung fu champion in the nuts. Good stuff! I've seen The Punisher and Taking Lives recently, and they're both so formulaic and packed with clichés that it almost hurts. Taking Lives was at least pretty entertaining, while Punisher was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. During Taking Lives I actually caught myself wondering about the result in Arsenal's game on Sunday. I reached the conclusion that since Middlesboro are probably better than last year we'll win 3-2, as opposed to 4-1 last year. Now you know - place your bets. Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Fanø 2004. I have just returned from the Danish island Fanø, where I hung out with my two good old friends Eddie Vedder and John Fogerty. The weather was a bit crap, so unfortunately there wasn't much point in spending too much time on the beach. And I didn't get out to track down Johnny Madsen, but still overall a good time was had by all. I've been feeling a bit under the weather for the last couple of days, so I guess I'll make a real update later.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Random Thoughts.
Have you ever noticed how some sports have really great names, and some have stupid names? Handball for example is a good name, because you play it using your hands and a ball. Football is also pretty good name, even though it should be called "foot and sometimes hands-ball". Racketball is also a very apt name. Tennis, however, is a rather silly name for what should be called racketball as well. Then it could be called "racket and net-ball". Badminton is another case of a name that was obviousely made up on the spot. I propose that it be called "racket and net-ball, only with a weird feathery ball" in the future. Ping-pong is also a silly name. I guess it's supposed to resemble the sound it makes when you play it, but the fact is it only says "ping-pong" when you serve; from then on it's all pongs until someone miss the table and you start over. It should be called "table-racket and net-ball", or possibly "table, bat and net-ball". The biggest misnomer is probably football, as the Americans play it. The truth about American football is it is only "football for one person on each teams, and handball for the rest, and without a real ball, instead using a ball that's shaped kinda like an egg". Actually the Americans are generally weird about sportsnames, since they also call "foot and sometimes hands-ball" soccer, which is another name that doesn't mean anything. How very strange. If all goes according to plan, I will go to Fanø later this week. When you go to Fanø, there's 3 things you must bring: some string, a Hancock beer and a hammer. You then tie the string around the neck of the beerbottle, and drag it acroos the island. When you thereby succeed in luring Johnny Madsen out of his hiding place, it's time to whack him on the head with your hammer, thereby acquiring your very own singer-songwriter. Very clever. Do you know when people say they've slept all day, and then it turns out they only slept for like half of it? I for one slept all day in the literal sense, and here at 3am I am very awake. How very boring. Wednesday, August 04, 2004
It's A Long Way To The Top...
Well, today we learned that Danish football is probably even worse than we thought. Even though we never had any high thoughts about it to begin with. Danish champions FCK lost 5-0 to Gorica, who I had never heard of before the first game. I think the Danish newspaper said it best: Toppen har aldrig været længere væk. Ikke bare for FCK, men for dansk fodbold i hele taget. (I can't be arsed to translate right now, but it isn't good!) Though I am not a big fan of Radiohead, this is pretty cool. [via Angela] Jon Stewart is alway funny, and this is really funny. And is it me or does that Maya Angelou look kinda scary? Sunday, August 01, 2004
Snobness is next to Godliness
The lock to our shower is broken. Normally that's not a big problem because people can hear if the water is running, and thus don't barge in on you when your standing in your birthday suit. The other day, however, as I was drying myself, the cleaning-guy barged in. It wasn't the regular guy, but apparently a temp or something, so I figured he couldn't know the lock was broken and I very politely asked him to piss off. Later I learned that he had done the same thing the previous day, walking in on a girl who lives here while she was showering. That really pisses me off! Here I've been trying to see her naked for three years, and then he just waltzes in on his first day. What a bastard! I've been at the Zulu-bio today and yesterday, seeing Phonebooth and Intolerable Cruelty. Especially the latter was surprisingly good, which shouldn't really be a surprise since George Clooney and the Coen brothers is a proven winning combination. And it even featured a blink and miss cameo by Bruce Campbell, which made me laugh in a nerdy kind of way. (I think I was the only one who recognized him.) Charlotte has some insightful things to say about being a snob, and I have to say agree on all counts, except people aren't allowed to hate the things I like. And it's nice to see that everybody is back to regular blogging. Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Some things need to go away
It's a shame about Ray When you're running low on inspiration yourself, it's always nice when other people really apply themselves and come up with something brilliant. And so I give you Kristian's latest brainchild Parlour Watch, dedicated to monitoring the trials and tribulations of our hero Ray Parlour, and to a lesser extent to that nice little ditty; It's a shame about Ray. Oh, and I made one of those Blogger-profiles, and I actually thought I would be the only one lame enough to list Kuffs as one of my favorite movies, but no. It's weird and scary world out there... Monday, July 26, 2004
Marc Overmars
There's absolutely nothing going on at the moment, and when there's finally a bit of football news, it's a bit crap. Marc Overmars has retired at the tender age of 31. He was my favorite player back in '98, and I never thought he should have been sold. And Arsene Wenger says Vieira is staying, and since the professor is always right, that probably means that Vieira is staying. Despite this piece of utter nonsense from The People. Apart from that I have filed for intellectual bankruptcy; at the moment I'm doing nothing but work, sleep and play computer, and I intend to keep that up 'till the weekend. Then I'll probably go to the open air cinema where I can combine my interests in being outdoors, watching movies and sitting. Everybody enjoys a good sit. Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Football.
The Danish football league is starting in the weekend. If you have a dreamteam at Onside, and want to be a part of The Martin Keown Memorial League, feel free to drop me a line, and I will send you the password. Monday, July 19, 2004
Rock and/or Roll.
It's been a pretty uneventful weekend. Friday night there was a heavy metal theme on Swedish TV, so I got to see liveshows from Metallica, Iron Maiden, Ac/Dc, Judas Priest and Alice Cooper's Welcome to my Nightmare. The highlight, however, was probably Heavy Metal Parking Lot, which I had never seen, or even heard of before. I got my hands on a copy of The Dirt. I've never read a Rock 'n' Roll autobiography before, but I actually think this one is terrific. It's not unlike the the most decadent parts in Hunter Thompson's books, in the sense that it's revolting, depraved and utterly entertaining. And just like Hunter, the Mötley Crüe guys make no attempt to sound particularly nice, or even remotely likeable, which only adds to the fun. And what else have I done? I have taken Arsenal to 3 consecutive championships in an old version of CM3. And that's about it. Thank God for summer holidays Sunday, July 18, 2004
A one-trick pony in a one-horse town
You're feeling lonely and the cable's down. The cable is down. That's pretty much the only thing that just can't happen on a Sunday. Jebus. And is Paddy going or staying? A simple statement saying he's not interested in moving would be nice, but if he want's to leave, so be it. Hopefully Real Madrid will throw Morientes into the deal, which would be so very excellently cool. Check out Arseblog for the entire story. Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Bored, bored, bored.
Honestly, there's absolutely nothing going on right now. The weather is dreadful, I have no money, and I have absolutely nothing to do. Tonight I saw Master and Commander, and I'm here to tell you that all the people who gave this movie good, nay even decent, reviews, need to have their eyes poked out with rabid, flaming badger on a stick. It's so mediocre it's almost impressive. Since I have nothing to report myself, I'll just throw in a couple of links: F*ck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades is pretty funny, originally from The Onion. Teddy Steady is moving to Hammers, which I'm kinda okay with. And finally, women have no taste. And by that I mean no taste at all! Sunday, July 11, 2004
I do realize there's very little going on in the world these days. Still I think the good people at Time Magazine are selling themselves a bit short.
 That's just sad.  Paris, France. As you can see from the picture, I am by now in Paris. I had grown weary from the awful weather in Denmark, so I decided to leave the country for the ever-exotic city of lovers. It was a spur of the moment thing, and I'm not sure the nice people in my bank will be too fond of me, but so be it. In order to blend in with the French, I have decided not to shower, which explains why my hair is a bit messy, and my complexion a bit grey-ish. On my way down Rue de Pommes-de-Terre, to the Eifel Tower, I met my old friend Ray Parlour, with his new girlfriend Paris Hilton. It was so nice to see him smile again. I told him to get back to London and settle everything so he can stay at Arsenal. He promised me he would try. He always does what he's told - that's why he's our Rayzor. Well, that's it for now, see you later. Roy
...Does Whatever a Spider Can.
We went in to see Spider-Man 2 tonight. I don't know if it's because I've been in an excellent mood lately, but I thought it was really funny. The lovestory still gets a bit silly and overly verbal at times, but it doesn't really matter too much, and it's easily turning into the best superhero franchise since Batman. And a cameo by Bruce Campbell never hurts either. Afterwards we saw Dodgeball, which was obviousely extremely funny. It's pure slapstick and stupidity, and it just cracked me up. I honestly think that this could be the golden age of comedy, since I can't think of a generation of comedians I think are funnier than Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Will Farrell etc. And, it featured some of the best cameo's you'll ever see in a movie. And it was directed by the guy who invented Terry Tate - Office Linebacker, which is pretty funny as well. That's it for today. Tommorrow I'll go see D:A:D play in crap weather. Jebus. Thursday, July 08, 2004
Va-Va-Voom! ...Tiger hand?
Finally "Va-va-voom" has been accepted by the dictionaries. About time, eh? Saddam playing Rock-Paper-Scissors is really funny. [via Interesting Stuff] And if we all sit down and listen to Welcome Interstate Managers, I'm sure summer will come sooner or later. Wednesday, July 07, 2004
 When going to Roskilde, remember to travel light. 8 cases of beer should be enough, 12 is a bit to much... Tuesday, July 06, 2004
So I'm back from outer Roskilde. It was a pretty great trip, actually so great that it has completely ruined Roskilde for me. I have a very hard time imagining myself, outthere among the real festival goes, covered in mud and what's worse. So if I can't work there next year, I doubt I'll go.
I wrote reviews of Mnemic, Korn, Slipknot, Avril Lavigne, Nephew, Iggy and the Stooges, Tina Dickow and Muse. (They're all in Danish.) I haven't really got anything more to say, except they're showing Black Books on DR2 everynight, so look out for that. Saturday, July 03, 2004
Roskilde Post #3.
It's the third day of the festival, and the weather is still pretty bad. I saw Iggy and the Stooges on the Orange Stage in pouring rain. If cleanliness is indeed next to godliness, us people at the festival must be considered pure devils. Right now I'm sitting alone in our trailer trying to regroup before I'm getting dragged in to see Morrissey, and then we're gonna end the day by watching what could be the last ever Loveshop concert. If you want to see the stuff we have produced over the last couple of days go here. And OH MY GOD, it's raining again... Friday, July 02, 2004
Roskilde Post #2.
It's our third day here at Roskilde and I have to say that it's a bit weird being here, without actually being out there with the muddy public. I, for one, have the pleasure of showering every morning, and when I'm not at a show, I spend most of my time in what can best be described as a trailerpark, with the worlds greatest internet connection, and a lot of journalists. We are situated right between Politiken and BT. If you would like to see a bit from the opening day of the festival go here. And this is pretty funny. Thursday, July 01, 2004
Roskilde Post #1
So, here I am at Roskilde. It's been raining cats and dogs, and everything is covered in mud. Bowie cancelled, because he's a pussy, and Slipknot are in. Which is cool by me, but terribly dissapointing for pretty much everybody else. My first article from Roskilde can be found here, and I have written a review of Mnemic, which will be posted later. Tonight: Korn. Very nice indeed... Sunday, June 27, 2004
 The Dream is Dead. Well Denmark crashed out of the European Championship tonight. The only upside is that I have money on the Czechs going home with the trophy, though not enough money to really matter a lot. Soon I will be heading off to the Eternal Sunshine of the Mudless Dyreskueplads. Hopefully the weather will change for the better very soon, or else it will be wet, muddy and dirty affair. Still the prospect of seing Muse and Franz Ferdinand should be enough to keep me going. Every now and then I read the Boondocks, and they have certainly taken a turn for the better lately ever since they kidnapped Ralph Nader... The Arsenal fixturelist has been published. Friday, June 25, 2004
Oh, it's on...
It's been an actionpacked couple of days. Denmark drew against Sweden, which of course left the Italians crying like big babies, blaming everybody but themselves. Celebrations ensued. Yesterday was the annual party at the University Park, this year featuring a surprisingly good performance by Insidious Törment. Today I saw the horribly ordinary Secret Window. The film is so packed with flaws and clichés, that it's a mystery how people ever agreed to do it. Save your money, and then rent David Koepp's previous movie Stir of Echoes, which is way better. And then of course England and Portugal played one of the most exciting games of Euro 2004, which also served as a lesson in constructive substitutions and how not to do it. And Goldenballs missed his 3rd consecutive penalty, which ended a miserable season for him. There's a good interview in Rolling Stone with Wilco, and an interview with Muse here. And I didn't want to jinx it, but it appears I will be working at this years Roskilde Festival. First it was on, then it was uncertain, then it was off, but now it seems it's back to on. Nice! Monday, June 21, 2004
NOTE TO SELF:
Must see ASAP. Try not to laugh at Spaniards. Write letter full of foul language to these plonkers, who still haven't sent me the shirt we ordered months ago. Figure out why people love this album so much. (I don't get it!) Must hear this. Sunday, June 20, 2004
 This is our local Social Democratic candidate to the European Parliament. When he is not busy trying to get Europe back on its foot, he is also the lead singer of the successful nü-metal band Linkin Panny. Thursday, June 17, 2004
Teenage angst has paid off well
Now I'm bored and old. I've been a bit of a teenager the last couple of days; staying at my parents', listening to Slipknot and reading A Catcher in the Rye. I had heard a lot of good things about Catcher, it's one of those books that still spark a tiny bit of controversy in American schools because of its language, and even Ace of Base has a reference to it in a song, so it seemed like something I ought to read. It was actually pretty good, I managed to read it in a day and still catch two games of football, I just wish I had read it a couple of years ago. I'm sure the impact would have been significantly bigger. In football news, Totti got a three match ban for his part in Projectile-Saliva-Gate(tm). He then went on to cry like a baby and said: "I don't recognise myself from the images that were shown. Maybe it's time to cut back on the crack." Wednesday, June 16, 2004
The big story in sports today is that Totti planted a rather large and thoroughly dispusting loogey in Christian Poulsen's face during the game Monday night. So now UEFA has to decide what kind of punishment he deserves. I suspect tomorrow's headline in The Sun will be something like Mouth-Watergate(Tm), in which case I will sue their behinds, as it was my fantastic invention, and registered trademark of yours truly.
And completely without my knowledge my comments thing has apparently turned into a Liverpool FC forum. I can't say I'm too thrilled... And as Jesper predicted LFC's new coach is Rafael Benitez. Further reports claim that Rafael decided to leave Donatello, Michelangelo, Leonardo and Splinter back in the sewer. Whether or not April O'Neall moves to Liverpool is still uncertain. Tuesday, June 15, 2004
The European Championship is well and truly under way. England lost yesterday because of a foul by former Liverpool player Heskey, a bad backpass by current Liverpool player Gerrard, and a penalty by former Liverpool keeper David James. Does anyone see a pattern?
Sweden however took the lead in Group C with a goal from Arsenal ace Freddie, while Denmark and Italy decided to draw due to a severe lack of Arsenal players. I've managed to lose every bet I've placed so far, and it kinda makes you question why you do it. And then it hits you how boring Croatia - Switzerland would be without any money on the line... Saturday, June 12, 2004
Yihaa, today is the day all proper men across Europe have been waiting for: The kick off of Euro 2004. And I can't think of a better way of boosting morale than having Julie Rugaard team up with Danish football legend Mikkel Beck for a re-recording of the football anthem Re-Sepp-ten. Beautiful.
According to the Hindustan Times (they are always the first to know!)Kanu and Keown are leaving Arsenal today, which actually means that Arsenal have no players left on www.uglyfootballers.com And Morrissey decided to get into a bit of trouble suggesting to a crowd that Bush should have died instead of Reagan. That's just great Moz...
It's really weird: I ordered the new Slipknot album, but all I got was The Best of Vixen... with masks.
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
14.59.
So, today the blogging-article was in JP Århus, and the article can be found here. There's even a huge picture of me posing as the slightly geekier third member of Nik & Jay. Now I can just sit back and wait until the people from blogbot arrive at my door with torches and a catapult, ready to hurl me out of the so-called blogosphere for bringing blogs into disrepute. Oh, and the Midtfyns Festival has been cancelled, which is crap because we were supposed to go, but apparently we were the only ones. On the plus side I won't have to go through 2 hours of agonising Alicia Keys. Tuesday, June 08, 2004
In this time where we get spoonfed news of the tasmanian fox Mary Donaldson's marriage to the Prince of Denmark all the time, it's nice to see that the good people of Australia are keeping focus on what is important in life. And so the people of Mellbourne are honouring AC/DC by naming a street after them. Which, as far as I know, makes them the only rockband to have a street in both Australia and Spain. I might be wrong though...
 The Young brothers standing with some guy who looks a bit like Saddam Hussein, but is probably mayor of Madrid, at Calle de AC/DC in Madrid Monday, June 07, 2004
The trailer for Fahrenheit 9/11 is online here.
I am not entirely sure what to think of it. I think I have all the same objections to it as I had towards Bowling For Columbine, but with the added facts that Michael Moore is by all accounts an arrogant bastard, and that I think it's stupid to give the Palme D'or to a movie that wasn't finished. Political choice or not, it's still a a bit of a devaluation of the Cannes Film Festival. I have just been photographed for the article on weblogs, which was a bit weird, and come Wednesday I will be telling those of my friends who actually manage to read the paper: "No, it is NOT a diary - it's a weblog! Two completely different things." And they'll laugh. Bastards. And like so many other vistors before him, Stig Töfting left Hinnerup injured. He should know not to mess with the good people of Hinnerup!
Even Jesus Hates Creed.
When there's no real football, I have to be a bit creative to find interesting stuff to read on the internet, so it's fantastic when you stumble across some great news. Creed have split up and will hopefully dissappear into oblivion much like Stryper and all other Christian-Rock bands. I've been watching a lot of clips on the Jon Stewart homepage, so here's a couple of highlights: Barbera Walthers is NOT a drunken whore. Bush vs. Bush. English football. Reality shows. Friday, June 04, 2004
As I was sittimg in front of my computer doing nothing in particular yesterday, Satan decided to pop by. Satan and I go way back, though we haven't stayed in touch recently. So anyway, Satan came into my room and we made a bit smalltalk and I offered him a beer, but he only drinks Fanta Shokata. Finally I asked him, "so Satan, what brings you here?". He said: "I have come to lead you into temptation. You shall spend all your money on gambling, and you shall win millions and then learn that money can't buy you happiness, and finally you shall spend all your millions on alcohol, drugs and woman - and not attractive women either , but really skanky ones. And then go to hell. Mwuuhahahahahahaha (Diabolical laughter)". "Ah", I said "and how is this supposed to go down?". "You shall bet all your money on Tiger Woods, and that Greece beats Lichtenstein with exactly 2 goals!". "That's a bit lame isn't it? Surely you can do better Satan." "Well, I have been in a bit of a hurry lately," he said "but check out the odds; 6,66! Nice touch, eh?"
"Yeah, that's just great Satan, but do you realize how much money I will have to spend to make millions? I don't have that kind of money. I'm not Ted Danson!" Satan was visibly dissappointed, and I felt a bit bad for him. "How about we do this; I bet 10kr, I win 66kr, and I buy ONE beer and no skanky ho's? And most likely I'll go to hell anyway... Deal?" And that's how I won 66kr. Thursday, June 03, 2004
I've added Aziz Is Bored to my favorites list to the left, as it is always an interesting read. I also found a link to The Daily Show with John Stewart, where you can find fantastic in-depth coverage of American politics such as this.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
My Fifteen Minutes Have Arrived.
Tomorrow I'm being interviewed by JP Aarhus about weblogs. There's a special section in the paper for students and they want to write something about students who write weblogs, and since I am a student and write this miniscule weblog it adds up nicely. I don't really know what to expect since the last time I was interviewed was by the cops in Hadsten, but I will try not to make a complete arse out of myself, or make me look like a diary-writing 14 year old girl, or like a huge nerd. I shall try to act intelligent. If only I had some glasses to wear I'm sure I could seem intelligent... I am not a big fan of Pulp, but yesterday I saw the video for Bad Cover Version, and it is perhaps one of the best videos ever. So for your viewing pleasure you can find it here. Finally I would like to take a minute to say WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU THINKING??? to the nice people at the Roskilde Festival. Why would you go out and sign Avril Lavigne? It must be the biggest mistake since the Daniel Beddingfield incident. Tuesday, June 01, 2004
I Want My Nickel Back!
If you have ever wondered just exactly how formulaic Nickelback's music is, here's a scary look into how you get a hit with the same song twice. Crank up your computer and hear for yourself! Monday, May 31, 2004
Not The Age Of Aquarius!
Wow, my horoscope for this week is awful. I have a lot of stuff going on right now that is beyond my own control, including my exams that are being graded these days, some monetary issues that should be settled on Wednesday, and all my plans for the summer. So anyway, I decided to check what was in store for me this week, and it's just terrible: "There is good reason to tone down your optimism a bit. It may very well come back and kick you in the rear later. It is as if the possitives have some limitations or restrictions attached to them, that you are forced to relate to." So now I reckon I will fail my exams, not be allowed to continue my academic "career", miss out on some money and will have to stay home all summer. Damn! Sunday, May 30, 2004
These Jeans Are Made For Talking.
I've spent the most of the weekend moving for two of my friends, so nothing extraordinary has happened lately. Luckily my friends were familiar with §15 of The Man Code: "The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer". And so yesterday I had enough beer and White Russians to make Solomon blush, which is quite a lot. I am really looking forward to the European Championship this summer. I bought the Denmark jersey the other day, and right now I'm watching the final from 1992. Later today Denmark will hopefully crush Estonia, or Latvia, or Lithuania, or one of those semi-countries. If I had found this earlier, I would have bought one. And I need one of these. If there is one thing I love it must be bad movie reviews, and luckily Rolling Stone delivers regularly. Check out this one: "The only truly scary thing about this doomsday popcorn flick is the momumental ineptitude of the acting, writing and directing. " Beautiful. And the Danish football season ended yesterday, and I could write something about the AGF game I saw yesterday, but I would just end up using words that aren't even suitable for the internet, so I'll take the high road for once, and just let it go.... Thursday, May 27, 2004
She's A Dancer, A Romancer...
I was flicking through the channels this morning, trying to find something I could watch while eating my breakfast. As always there was nothing good on TV, so I decided to watch some CNN, and lucky me, I stumbled upon a Larry King interview with Dr. Phil. It turns out the good Doctor, if that is his real name, has made a cookbook for people who want to lose weight. Now the question that comes to mind is "why woulod I take dieting tips from a guy who is just as big as me?" I mean, if Brad Pitt told me to eat less carbs I probably would. But Dr. Phil? Eh, not so much. It's a Jeff Foxworthy joke waiting to happen: If you're taking dieting tips from Dr. Phil... you might be real fat. Oh, and while I was cleaning today, I realised that I knew all the lyrics to C'Mon and Love Me by Kiss. Neat eh? And if you think you know all there is to know about movies, try Empire's Son of Quote Quiz. I got 16 out of 30 on the easy level, and then I was screwed. Feel free to tell me how you did. Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Taking the political test on DR shows that I am infact more of a hippie than I actually thought.
Politicians clossest to my answers: Jytte Wittrock (S) : 80 point Elisabeth Arnold (R) : 73 point Kamal Qureshi (SF) : 69 point Anders Samuelsen (R) : 68 point Anne-Marie Meldgaard (S) : 67 point Politicians farthest from my answers: Jens Hald Madsen (V) : 41 point Birthe Skaarup (DF) : 41 point Per Dalgaard (DF) : 39 point Louise Frevert (DF) : 32 point Jørn Dohrmann (DF) : 30 point 
Finally, with the help of Ice-T, HasselHoff is making a Hip Hop album under the name Hassle The Hoff. This is of course courtesy of the Danish tabloids, which devaluates it a bit, but it's still funny. For those who haven't seen it yet, here's a photo of the new Arsenal home shirt. It's not as horrible as I remember it to be, and I might just buy one later. It's just that having the Arsenal crest in the middle means that Vieira's crest will be covered in that weird goo all the time. And it's at times like these we should remember that nobody were big fans of the latest shirts when they came out, and now we all own them. Well, except me... Oh, and tonight is the "big" final between Monaco and Porto. Personally I will be rooting for Monaco, and I hope F-Mo will score a hatfull of goals. Monday, May 24, 2004
Sacre Bleu!
Wow, Michael Moore got a French award for his movie about Bush and the war in Iraq, who would have thought it? Actually I would have liked to be more cynical about it, but the fact is I'm really looking forward to seing it, and that I think it'll be very cool. I don't care too much for Michael Moore, but I think Bowling was extremely effective, so I have high expectations. And congratulations to Jesper and all the other Liverpool fans who finally got their wish. Now hopefully he'll go on to ruin Tottenham. Oh, and I finally found this thing about the day we won the Arsenal quiz. And that's about it. Tonight I have to decide what I'm gonna study next year, which will eventually decide how the rest of my life goes. So it's nice to have a couple of hours to think about it.
Polly Shouldn't Be.
I've got very little to report right now, except that it's a big relief to be done with the exams for now. And I've actually thought up a little angle to my paper on The Island of Dr. Moreau. I can't reveal too much as of yet, but I can reveal it includes RoboCop. I bet you never thought of it, but there are plenty of simmilarities between Moreau and RoboCop as they both deal with playing God and making upgraded versions of God's creatures. I will however try not to mention the "octo-parrot" from Simpsons and the "monkey-potamus" from Drew Carey. Oh, and my counter made it up to 10,000 hits the other day, which is quite amazing to me. Apart from regular visits from Kristian and Anders I have no idea who drops by, so feel free to drop a line and introduce yourself. Saturday, May 22, 2004
"The removal of the nipple is another blow to the hope that the British will eventually adopt grown-up attitudes towards nudity - and the dream that the EU's member states might one day actually agree about something."
(Stolen from Charlotte)
No Estoy Fotogenico.
Grammar exams are the work of the devil! My exam today went, and I don't want to jinx this, reasonably well, all things considered. I actually found it surprisingly easy, which most likely means I have completely misunderstood every question. 'Orrible 'Orrible. Is the word "In-Laws" really a compound noun consisting of two free root morphemes and the inflectional suffix "-s"? I suspect it is, but does anyone really care? This new new blogger, as opposed the old new blogger, allows people to post pictures on blogs. The thing is that even though I would like to post some pictures, but I don't have a camera, and what's worse I most often look like a complete git on pictures. I am however dealy handsome in person. So from now on I will strive not to make that "sign of the devil" with my hand every time I see a camera. I saw Primal Fear tonight which is really good and surprising the first time you see it, but not so much the second time. And in an act of complete desperation I have started taking quizzes on the internet, in an attempt to win tickets for the Roskilde Festival. If there was a Nobel Prize for being pathetic, I would be in contention almost every year. Friday, May 21, 2004
 I'm so hoping this little gadget works. This should be a picture of three metalheads listening to Motley Crue in a kitchen. 
Dead Man Walking.
Now listen up, I'm gonna need all the help I can get. I'm gonna need y'all to fucus all your positve energy towards me at 9am tomorrow and cross all your finger and toes. I'm taking my grammar exam (again) tomorrow, and I'm not at all looking forward to it. Luckily I have got an answer key from a previous exam, and since the questions vary very little from year to year, hopefully my little brain will figure out what to do, and I'll get a passing grade. (This is, by the way, completely legal and I got it from my teacher.) I really can't wait for this entire ordeal to be over with. Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Guess Who's Back.
I'm very pleased to announce that I actually managed to hand in my stupid paper, and that even with 30 minutes to go before the deadline. No pressure! I actually think that it ended up as a very decent little paper, if a bit on the short side. After handing in the paper I went to work on my computer, so I can now guarantee that it is absolutely and 100 percent virus free. And all it took was to delete everything and install windows all over again. Amazing. So now I can actually write this little entry in the safety of my own home. Very nice indeed. Also, I finally received my package form le T-Shirtgrill so now I am the owner of two very snappy shirts, including this litle number I'm gonna wear the next time my brother DJs. I'm getting a bit sick with this fear of terror by the way. The package I got included two shirts and a very little promotional portable radio stuck between the shirts for protection. The good people at the post office apparently thought that this package looked suspicious, and subsequently sliced it open and unpacked the radio. When they realised it was not a weapon of mass-decapitation, they apparently decided it wasn't necesary to patch it up again, so when I got the package one shirt was hanging halfway out of it. Bastards! Oh, and I realized that at one point I wanna go up to one of those X-ray machines they have at big airports, and try to see if I can sneak a window through it. Good thing any terrorists haven't thought of that! Finally, I got my clammy hands on a copy of Whatever Happened to PJ Soles. Though it is not their best album, it's still pretty darn good. Standout tracks so far are California Songs, P.J Soles and Dick Jones which sounds surprisingly like a mixture of The The and Beatles, which isn't too bad. Listen to them, damn you! That's it for now. Nice to get it out of the system. Wednesday, May 12, 2004
I Crawl In My Narcotic Shell.
So, I'm figthing an unfair battle against time these days. I'm trying to write mt bachelor paper, which has a deadline that says Tuesday. And afterwards I have to start reading for my Syntax exam on next Friday. Actually it's more of an unfair battle against myself, because I am, as many people have pointed out, a lazy git. But now the pressure is on, and I'll have to stay in my tiny room/office/prisoncell for the next 2 weeks. Rats. To make matters worse, the powers that be have decided that the virus on my computer is a clear and present danger, and have decided to shut down my internet. This also means that I will have to delete my harddisc and install it all over one of these days. Crap. Oh, and if anybody wants to earn a quick buck by writing a paper on The Island of Dr. Moreau, please drop me a line. If these 3 exams pass I will have my Bachelor's degree. I will actually be a bachelor this summer, and an elligible one at that. Oh, and just for the record; I'm still pissed about that royal wedding. Just get married alright? It's 2004, so it might be a bit early to call it "the wedding of the century." Sunday, May 09, 2004
Whoa, it like totally the best cast ever. And the award for cramming most crap TV- actors into a movie goes to The Forsaken. Sunday night TV always sucks, but I think we're at a new low.
I've now tried 5 different anti-virus programmes, and still my computer seems to be infected with some crap. It should be obvious by now that I am in way over my head! Any ideas?
The Heat Is On.
The weather has been amazing today. The thermometer outside Bridgewater said 31 degrees Celsius at 5pm, which is about as hot as it ever gets in Denmark. We went out to the stadium to see the local team, AGF, kick the living daylights out of league-leaders Esbjerg. But since I don't really care too much about Danish football, it was mostly about hanging out and drinking Faxe Kondi. It was kinda weird to see how much that win affected the mood in the city. When we went downtown afterwards there was white shirts everywhere and big smiles. I think that these two guys are probably the hunkiest Arsenal fans ever, apart from the regulars at the pub obviousely. And now I have to try to exterminate this stupid virus that keeps messing with my computer. Balls! Friday, May 07, 2004
You Go Girl!
I pride myself on having a decent sense of humour. I not going to try and describe it, because honest to God there's nothing worse than people who do that; Oh I have crazy sense of humour - I'm a bit cuckoo etc. What I mean is that 9 out of 10 times I laugh at right times, which is pretty good. And I have been told several times that I am funny in small doses, which is also pretty good. But the thing is I was thinking about what the funniest thing in the world is. What always cracks me up and makes my eyes tear up from laughing. After going through my brain's library of fun, including pretty much every episode of Monty Python, Southpark and just about every sit-com ever aired on Danish TV, I decided that the funniest thing in the world is Pat and Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts on the Letterman show. There's just something about 2 middleaged, moustached carpenters saying Whoohaa, go girl that just kills me. What's your choice? I finally got to see Behind the Music with Anthrax today which was really cool, and surprisingly touching. For once there was a BTM without any drugs or alcohol, but just what seems like really cool guys who have had nothing but rotten luck (incl. 2 deaths, a bancrupt record company, a burned down studio, and what after 9/11 turned out to be an unfortunate name...), and have never got the credit they deserve. When people talk about fusing rock and rap they always gush about Aerosmith and RUN DMC, but honestly Anthrax were the first band to do it properly with Public Enemy, and I'm pretty sure there wouldn't be any rap-metal bands out there, if it wasn't for Bring The Noise. And just for the record: I still really, really, really, really hate the royal family. Why anybody would decide to give them presents for that stupid wedding is beyond me. It's not like they can't afford stuff themselves. It's not like they don't already get quite a lot of money from us, as it is. I'm almost certain that if the more than 5 million people in the country put their minds together, we could come up with a more worthy cause to spend our money on. Something with diseases, animals or starving people or something. Should be easy. Monday, May 03, 2004
Ai Cahhn't Get No Sleep.
Of course I haven't had any sleep tonight. I don't exactly know why, but I just was unable to fall asleep. Every time I thought "now it's gonna happen", I just slipped right out of sleep again. On the plus side I managed to see some TV, including most of the Danish football highlights, a Billy Connolly show, and an hour long interview with Don Rickless, who isn't really that funny, but he used to hang out with Carson, Letterman, Sinatra and a lot of other cool guys. And congratulation to Anders O. whoose AaB team not only won yesterday, but managed to score what was possibly the goal of the season. And after all the heartache Leeds have caused Arsenal over the years, including the game last year and when Jimmy Floyd scored a late winner in '99 (I think), I can honestly say I only feel a little bit sorry for them. Actually I've always hoping they would be relegated, but there's always something a bit sad about grown-ups who are crying like a baby that was hit with hammer. And it's nice to see that John has acknowledged Machine Heads bid for being the bitchiest metal band of all time, over at Frekvens. PS: Free Speech for the Dumb! Good old Scott Ian is at it again.
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