[WAITINGFORATRUCK]

Posted 1:13 PM by Roy

A Sexist Pig, I Guess it's True (I Hate All Men Including You)

I don't do well under pressure. Whenever I accidentally write something that other people find funny, I always try too hard to top it, and then people say: "You try to hard", and then I try harder for a while until I return to my normal state of random ramblings. Lately I've been getting some traffic because John linked to my last post in which I compared President Bush to Winnie-the-Pooh, which is an unfair comparison since Pooh is actually aware of the fact that he's just a stuffed animal without a brain, but now my inner attention-whore is trying to think up something funny, so perhaps some of the people will come back one day. Maybe I should have just left on a high-note. "That's it for me, thank you very much!"

I have finally gotten around to buying the newest Type O Negative album, and though it sounds a lot like some of their other stuff it's still pretty great. I've always loved their mix of Goth, Romanticism, Weltschmertz, silly humour and blatant disregard for everything politically correct, which again leads to the everlasting dicussion from High Fidelity if people become misserable gits because they like sad music, or it's the other way round. Either way, in highschool I would probably have been dissapointed to see the label on their new CD that says "Type O Negative Is A Non-Prophet Organization".

Posted 4:47 PM by Roy

You Never Can Tell With Bees

So the reversed blogathon is finally over, and after this self-imposed blogging-embargo, or whatever one would call it, I'm back to regular blogging business. For once I've spend my Saturday doing something reasonably productive. Okay, so productive may be a strong word, but instead of the usual alcohol fueled mayhem, I've been housesitting at my parents' place. It's beginning to look more like something from a catalog out here, than the place I was raised, which I'm fine with, except that I'm scared I might break something. That new leather couch, for example. Especially since I'm planning on getting some friends out here at some point.

I saw That Thing You Do which is always enjoyable, if nothing else then for the soundtrack, by Fountains of Wayne, and for some superb casting. Then I saw Beautiful Girls, which I only just now realised has the worst DVD cover ever! I had seen it once before where I thought it was crap, but this time I actually thought it was pretty good. Why Timothy Hutton was never huge I'll never know, he's a cool guy when he gets the chance. Also it's a very good ensemble cast, especially if you ignore Rosie O'Donnell, who needs to get her SAG-card revoked. In a hurry!

There were a couple of references to Winnie-The-Pooh in the movie, and I realized I had never actually read those books, and since it for some reason is my father, the great English teacher's, favorite book, I decided to start reading it. I immediately liked the title The World of Pooh, because surely we all live in a world of Pooh, so I started reading, and it's actually very funny. I'll probably never finish the entire book, but I'm not sure that matters too much.
If you ever get the chance, try reading chapter 3, In Which Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting and nearly catch a Woozle, and then replace Pooh with "The President" and Woozle with "weapons of mass-destruction". Political satire at it's very Pooh-est.

Posted 2:45 PM by Roy

I helped a friend move some boxes and a huge chair from the basement to the 3. floor yesterday, so now my arms hurt like hell. I have to go move the rest today, which sucks pretty bad. I don't know why I always end up moving for people, but it can't be because of my fantastic physique because I was really busted afterwards.

I'm going to see Terminator 3 tonight. I don't really know what to expect; on one hand it is a sequal, and there's probably no plot and really crappy dialogue. On the other hand there's probably no plot but a lot of explosions. Mixed with a lot of popcorn it'll probably be okay.

I've decided to make a Reversed Blogathon. Since John and Emme are posting on their blog every 30 minutes tomorrow, I've decided not to post anything at all tomorrow. It's gonna be tough, but I'll try. Instead I hope people will go visit their pages and see how they are doing. I think it should be funny to see how much sense they make at about 5 in the morning.

Posted 1:11 PM by Roy

Happy People Have No Stories

Yesterday I didn't write anything, mainly because there was nothing to write. This morning however I realized that yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of my blog. There is of course no existing evidence of this, since Blogger f*cked up my archives, but I'm pretty sure. So one year ago I started this blog, writing about football, music, movies and making stupid comments, and I like to think that nothing much has changed. Perhaps not exactly pullitzer material, I'll leave that to Dave Barry and the likes, but still it's been enough to keep me entertained for a couple of minutes every week, which is pretty much all I ever ask of anything.

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to say "Thank you, come again" to everybody who for some reason visit this site, even the ones who only come here to search for "pictures of lolitas" (which for the record is nowhere to be found on this site!), and especially the ones who only go here because they know me, and somehow feel obligated. Also, the people who have found this page by googling me, and never returned, but at least have had the dignity not to bother me too much about having a weblog. Dignity is rare these days. Anyway, the counter has reached 2391 since some time in January which wouldn't have been possible without you. Or perhaps it would, but it would have been very boring.
So, now I have nothing more to say on this subject, so I'll get some breakfast and lean back and watch the congratulations and pullitzers come rolling in on my comments thingy. Have a nice day.

Posted 3:34 PM by Roy

Return Of The Not-So-Flying Dutchman

I don't want to jinx anything, but today is looking like a pretty good day. It's 25 degrees C outside, and not a cloud in the sky. The benevolent God of the blogosphere has fixed my comments thingy, and Bergkamp has finally signed his new contract that will keep him at Highbury. He also said it on his own website (registration required), so it's not like one of those Vieira "he's signed, oh wait, no he hasn't" things... They should however sort out Vieira's and Bob's contract very soon, or I will personally go to England, blow up Ashburton Grove and create some sort of elaborate insurance scam so Arsenal get more money than all Russian mob-type guys put together.

I finally got around to seing Tigerland yesterday, and it was actually pretty good. There are a lot of implausabilities in the plot, but also some good acting and a lot of oneliners, so it could have been a lot worse. It could have been Hart's War.

A lot of people, well not a lot, but some people find this site while searching for "lolitas" on Google. Well, they aren't here, so keep searching. Also, people go here looking for Collin Farrel. Well, his name is spelled Colin, so if you end up here, it's because you, like me, have misspelled his name. That also goes for people looking for Damian Rice - it's spelled Damien. Sorry. That should sort it all out. Or something.....

Posted 4:55 PM by Roy

Roy Meets Girl

Girl: Wow Roy, you look like shit today, are you very hungover?

Roy: I didn't drink last night.

Girl: Oh, sorry... (Girl walks.)

My brother looked at my blog yesterday and fixed it, so now everything looks normal again. A new problem has presented itself, since it appears I can't see if people leave comments. Damn you new Blogger! So if you've left a comment lately, I've only just seen it today. I will try to look into it later.

Posted 11:58 PM by Roy

Something's terribly wrong. I'm sweating like a bastard, am tired, nauseous, left a party at 10.30 because I couldn't really bother anymore. So now I'm doomed to watch crap TV and pass out in my bed on a Friday night. Maybe it was because I had a couple of beers yesterday, maybe because I didn't today, or maybe I'm coming down with something. Either way; my biggest wish right now is just to go to sleep and not wake up until I have to go see Terminator 3 next Friday.

Posted 1:45 PM by Roy

Heh, in the last post I linked to a story about Metallica suing another band for using the chords E and F. I'm 99,999% certain it's a joke, I did have to do a bit of fact checking before I was sure. Which means I do more research for this blog than the people at Danish newspaper Ekstrabladet who gladly pass it off as being true.

Here is one movie I'm pretty sure I won't go see. I aways like bad reviews, and this is probably the worst ever. Notice how it didn't get any stars

Posted 5:09 PM by Roy

I See You're Downloading Fuckin' Sanitarium On That Napster Machine....

I just found some of Meyer's pictures from our camp at Roskilde. When looking at that group it's hard to imagine why there weren't any girls with us. There's a pretty good picture of me from when I tried to grow long hair, and one that's not quite as good where I'm standing with the drunken Irish guys.

Kristian sent me this, and it had me going for a while. Well done.

Posted 4:29 PM by Roy

I spend most of today in a car with my parents. It really wasn't that bad, the weather was nice and we drove around and saw Clausholm Slot which has a beautiful park around it, and there was an exhibit of scultures to look at. It was okay. Then we saw the place where Hamlet is burried. There wasn't a lot to see, it was in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere, but I guess that's what you get for killing most of your family - a crappy grave. We also drove through some really crappy cities, I don't really know how people kan live all the way out in the middle of nowhere, it's literally "Deliverance-country" out there, but apparently they are quite happy where they are. My dad also managed to get us lost. I'll never know how people like him can think of saying "I think the map is wrong" and then drive the other way. Thank god his stubborn ways haven't rubbed off on me...

Posted 1:50 AM by Roy

A One Trick Pony In A One Horse Town?

I bought So Much For The City by The Thrills the other day, and I've been listening to it quite a lot. Based on my record collection I shouldn't really like it, but for some reason I think it's pretty darn good. Maybe I'm turning old and soft. Maybe it's just one of those things you like because it's summer right now, and when it starts raining again I'll throw it in the corner and never hear it again, but it makes me sort of happy right now. What's up with that?

I just saw 8 Mile. The user comment on IMDB says "Great drama" which it really isn't, but it's a nice original take on the stereotypical sports movie. Guy loses at something, has to go through some issues, makes a montage of him practising his sport/skill - and *spoiler* guy wins in the end. Hope I didn't ruin it for anybody. It was alright though, in a Rocky meets Purple Rain kinda way. Actually those movies may not be the best examples, but you get the picture.

Posted 4:01 PM by Roy

I hate charity. Actually that's not quite true, some charities I like a lot; especially the ones that throw concerts. Or the ones where volunteers knock on your door once a year and you give some money, and they pass the money on to the guy who's gonna cure cancer. That guy rocks. The charities I hate are the ones who gang up on the middle of the mainstreet, and bother you every damn time you walk by. And there's always a bunch of them, so you have to decide if you're gonna ignore them, be very impolite to make them go away, or just turn around and go the other way. Lately I've felt an urge to just start shouting at them. Someone told me that some of them actually get paid to stand there and bother people, I think it's the people from Amnesty International, and then what they are doing is not really charity is it? Then it's telemarketing, or something. And then I would be very pleased if they dropped the whole "holier than thou" -attitude.

Posted 1:54 PM by Roy

Don't Let One Bad Apple Spoil The Whole Damn Bunch

After having been to the pre-pre-party on Saturday, we met up again at noon the next day to get some pre-drinking done before we would go to the Grøn Koncert, which featured concerts by Junior Senior, Carpark North, Mew, Suede and some other bands. I'm not really a big fan of any of the bands, but the weather was nice, the crowd was good and the beer was cold. Although I've always hated people who just sit around instead of actually going to see the bands, I managed to only see Junior Senior and Suede. I did hear the other bands, and from what I understand I didn't miss a lot. Junior Senior was okay, better than their reputation anyway, and I found Suede to be extremely boring. Maybe it was the fact that they were playing on a field in bright daylight, maybe it was because all the soungs sounded alike or maybe it was just me. Everybody else seemed to like it a lot. So I ended up going in and out of the crowd, hanging out in the back, and getting a couple of beers. Hope I didn't ruin it for anybody, but then again why should I have? I did manage to get punched by my brother because I gave a sarcastic thumbs up to Bret after a real stinker of a new song. If, like everybody else, you think Bret is a sexy old bastard Jan Chrillesen has loads of pictures from the show in Aarhus.

The new Arsenal away kits are here, and they are incredibly yellow, which is a step forward from the weird blue ones from last season, but still very very yellow. Whatever happened to the beautiful gold shirts we had a couple of seasons ago? Oh, and Henry.... what's with the socks???

I think my one year blogging birthday is just around the corner, but since Blogger fucked up the archives I'm not completely sure when it is. Stupid Blogger.

Posted 5:47 PM by Roy

You've Got Another Thing Comin'

Hmmm, Rob Halford is back in Judas Priest which I'm not so sure is a good thing. I actually quite liked Ripper Owens, but I guess it was just a matter of time. Anyway, I just hope he doesn't dissappear like John Corabi did when he was kicked out of Motley Crue to make place for Vince Neil, again.

Yellow rubberducks are always funny, albeit not as funny as a rubber chicken, and now they are travelling around america in a way not even Jesper Bank could do. And I don't want to be the only Danish blog that didn't post this.

Posted 12:16 AM by Roy

When looking around for weblogs, you sometimes stumble upon something that's a bit out there. By far the weirdest blog I've seen for a while is The Tard Blog, a blog about people who work with retards, and that's their word not mine. In their disclaimer they state that they don't mean to be cruel to the retards, and if people don't like people laughing at/with the retards, they should go here instead. Which is actually pretty funny.

Posted 6:28 PM by Roy

Another crazy Thursday night yesterday, and now another lame hang-out-and-do-nothing Friday.

There's a preview of the new Local H EP No Fun on their website. It's really punky and noisy, and as always pretty good.

Posted 11:44 PM by Roy

I hate "silly season". Arsenal hasn't been doing anything, except pissing off Dennis Bergkamp, and trying to offload Kanu, because surely we don't need any attackers next year. Meanwhile Kewell is going to Liverpool, and Jerzy the wacky landlord has bought Chelsea and is planning to buy every available footballer in the world. Sucks!

Nothing much has been going on lately. A lot of hanging out, drinking, watching Tour De France, watching crap movies, nothing really worth mentioning. I was unfortunate enough to watch some episodes of Dirty Sanchez on MTV2, which was extremely gross, but not very much fun. It's the Welsh version of Jackass for Pete's sake. I don't know if it's because I'm getting old and boring, but watching some dimwit eat a pubichair-pizza is just not my idea of fun. It was however quite nauseating.

I've just borrowed a book by Richard E. Grant called With Nails, which however should be quite funny. I figure I could go for some light reading since it is my vacation.

But since the festival season is over, the football season has yet to start, and I have no plans for the rest of my vacation, it'll be safe to assume that there will be a lot of posts about how bored I am in the next couple of weeks....

Posted 4:11 PM by Roy

Cracktacular

So far Jan C. has taken the best picture from this years Roskilde Festival. For some reason you couldn't look anywhere this year without seing one of these. I don't know if it's the fashion or what, but they were everywhere. So without further ado: Here it is!

I blame it on Sisqo....

Posted 3:26 PM by Roy

Well, what a load of monkey spunk that was. Contrary to the official statement yesterday (last entry), Viaira hasn't signed a new deal yet. Which kind of makes it hard to understand the point of official statements...

Saw The Man Who Wasn't There yesterday, and it was quite excellent. Being somewhat familiar with the Coen Brothers' style I already knew what I was gonna get, but it just worked much better than I thought. Though the movie couldn't possibly go any slower, it still brought a lot of laughs, quirky dialogue and incredibly cool visuals, and that's what you want from a Coen movie.

Also saw Bend It Like Beckham which was absolute shite. Every single cliché from every sports movie ever made, mixed with a lot of culture-clash clichés. It was so crap that even if it had been called Bend It Like Bergkamp, it would still suck.

I'm gonna watch Tigerland today, hopefully it will be better.

Posted 4:09 PM by Roy

Most excellent Arsenal news. I didn't really believe it since it was in News Of The World, but now it's official - Vieira stays! Yiiiiihaaa!!!!

Posted 2:37 AM by Roy

Wasted Time

Hmmm, another weekend has passed, or at least the important part of it; Friday and Saturday night, and once again I've been doing absolutely nothing. I always get a bit bummed out when I've wasted an entire weekend, so I'll try to do something mildly entertaining tomorrow, I still don't know what, but something fun with friends, and something that won't happen in my own claustrophobic cubicle-like room. Barbeque, a movie or playing pool sounds about right. Since I didn't leave my claustrophobic, cubicle-like, prison cell-ish deathtrap of a room yesterday, I had the opportunity to listen to all of my playlist, and once again I had to marvel at my impeccable taste in music, so I thought I would list some of the favorite tunes at the moment:

Damian Rice: Volcano. The only song I've ever heard by him, he was on Letterman the other day and it's quite terrific.

Mark Kozalek: If You Want Blood. Singer/songwriter version of AC/DC classic - what's not to like?

Nada Surf: The Way You Wear Your Head. Nice summer pop/rock song, not to far away from Fountains Of Wayne.

Type O Negative: Angry Inch. Great band, great show, great coversong.

The Thrills: Big Sur. Because it's summer, and in an ideal world a summervacation should be like a montage of Beach Boys videos, people surfing, girls in bikinis, sunshine etc. Since it's raining cats and dogs, I can at least get the soundtrack right. Add, Fountains of Wayne: It Must Be Summer to that account.

Posted 1:28 AM by Roy

It's Like Deja Vue All Over Again

Looks like The Midtfyns Festival is flooded once again. I was there last year when it was covered in mud and pouring rain all week. It doesn't look quite as bad this year, but if the crowd stays away again this year, it might mean that they have to shut the festival down, which would be quite sad. Check out John's site for reports and pictures.

The idiot upstairs, not God but the quy who lives on the 3. floor on top of my room, is having another party, and his taste in music is terrible. I hate that retarded fucker, hopefully he'll pass out soon.

I haven't done anything today, went to a party last night, and didn't get out of bed until 8 pm this evening, so Playstation 2 has been my source of entertainment all night. Could be much worse.

Barry White has died. Hopefully people will remember him for Whacking Day instead of being the guy from Ally McBeal.

Posted 6:57 PM by Roy

Hey Hey, We're The Monkees

After returning from the festival I've been kinda bored, and when I get bored I get stupid, so last night I asked one of my friends to cut my hair, which has been growing for about 7 months. He's cut it once before when we we're both pretty drunk, and it looked like shit, but this time it turned out better than i hoped for, so I don't even have to wear a hat this time.

I came back from the festival and was very positive on The Murderdolls, who I thought had kicked ass, only to see them performing on last weeks episode of Dawsons Creek - streetcred down the drain!

One of the biggest laugh attacks I got on the festival was when I was in a portable toilet next to where Thrills were playing, and the singer introduced a song called: "Whetever happened to Corey Haim", but unfortunately it seems it isn't on the album.

This website is pretty amusing.

There's a lot of videoclips from Roskilde on MTV's website.