Posted 2:12 AM by Roy

Admitting There's a Problem is the First Step Towards Drinking with a Clean Conscience.

On my way home tonight I saw a middleaged cabdriver sitting in his car, smoking a cigarette with the carstereo blasting out Ozzy's Dreamer at a volume suitable for the Roskilde Festival. It made me realize how much I've lost for Ozzy. Being an old metalhead, I've had nothing but respect for him, and seeing him in '98 with Sabbath was fantastic, but ever since his life turned into a soap-opera, he did Pepsi ads, and he made that godawful Dreamer, which sounds like a corny version of Imagine, it all pretty much went down the drain. It turns out it wasn't video, but reality-tv that killed the radio star. Well, but at least I can still put on Hole In The Sky and rock out.

I guess the main reason I hate the show so much is the Ozzman's offspring, who've been turned into superstars with no other apparent talent than being bitchy spoiled brats. And now the son has been sent to rehab. The most surprising thing about that story is how much Jack is starting to look like the bassplayer from Napalm Death.
Roskilde is pretty much at a full programme and it's not exactly perfect, but it might be because I'm totally out of the loop, and they're all great bands I just haven't heard of. I was pleasantly surprised to see local band Magnified Eye and Mike Patton's Tomahawk on the programme.

At the supermarked today I heard an elevator-music version of Everybody Hurts by REM; that's just wrong! - But it's a great motivational factor for speed-shopping.

Oh, I stole the headline from John (where he stole it from I do not know....), but I'm thinking about steeling it for good and making it my catchphrase. What do you think?

Posted 5:53 PM by Roy

So I'm Back From Outer Space

Went directlty from my parents' place to work this morning, that's almost an hour by bus. Yikes. But on the plus side I managed to get a lot of work done and sign my contract, which ensures that I'll actually get paid. I'm kinda fearing carpal tunnel syndrome right now, I'm beginning to feel like a carp in a tunnel very often. No, I've been working in front of a computer for some years now + playing guitar, which is doomed to go wrong eventually. And lately my carp (?) has been aching like a motha, so that can't be good. I am by no means a doctor, but I have a pretty bad feeling about this one.

I sold some bottles today, which means I actually have bit of food now, so as long as I only eat bread and leverpostej 'till Wdnesday, I'll be ok

Both Stonesour and Murderdolls have been confirmed for Roskilde, so it's not quite Slipknot but perhaps the next best thing.

Oh, an now I've made my mouse left-handed, which is nearly impossible to control. Bollocks!

Posted 6:47 PM by Roy

...And Now I'm Bored.

There is absolutely nothing going on right now. I'm extremely bored, and I'm at my parent's place where the only two ways to entertain myself is the computer and an old untuneable (is that a word?) guitar. The good thing about a guitar that can't be tuned is that if /when the song you're playing sounds like crap, you can always blame the guitar instead of your own lacking skills. So right now I'm pretending to be the bastard child of Django Reinhard, Steve Vai and Bonnie Raitt.

Also I was checking how people found my blog, and found out that some poor soul entered it while searching for "Celtic+music+of+swashbucklin+pirates". That guy must have been SO disappointed.

Another person found it while searching for "Nuclaer bombs", which made me realize I could probably generate some hits by purposely misspelling words like "Gorge Bush", "Al Kaida" and Sadam Husain". Also that would be a perfect cover for my thoundsands of misspellings; "that's not spelled wrong - I'm generating hits!". Actually it's an old idea, just look at these guys.

Posted 4:32 PM by Roy

Please Alter My Pants As Fashion Dictates

First of all thanks to Charlotte for making the first real comment on my blog. I know it's kinda embarrasing to admit, but ever since I installed the counter and the comment-thingie I've been spending way too much time checking who and how many visited my blog.

Some days are better than others I guess. Yesterday was pretty cool; first of all I recieved a package in the mail which contained an autographed copy of the Bruce Campbell book, then I co-hosted the Friday bar along with Kristian, Anders and Christopher. Later I went downtown and met a lot of cool people I haven't met for ages.

Today however it pretty much all went wrong, the Arsenal - Bolton game was pure bollocks; 3 injured players and a completely useless draw. F*ck! And now I'm going home to my parents because I have no money, no food and no clean clothes. Yesterday I actually had rice with ketchup for dinner - there are people in Etiopia laughing at me right now! That's it, I'm outta here...

Posted 4:56 PM by Roy

Money Makes the World Go Round

Looks like I've kinda painted myself into a corner. Apparently I have something like $1 to my name right now, and it isn't payday 'till Wednesday. I don't really know how this happened, since I haven't really spend any money this week, apart from the AIC box-set I bought when I didn't realize how broke I was, so now I have to go sell some bottles I've stored in my room, and possibly some blood. Actually selling blood in Denmark only gives you a chokolate bar and a beer, so I might not do that. Don't be surprised if you see a baby that looks like me in about 9-10 months; the things we do for money....

Tomorrow we will be hosting the Friday bar at the English Department, which should be a lot of fun, and if nothing else the beer is cheap. And the plan is we should go see Fillip play downtown, but whether or not that'll actually happen is a bit more doubtfull now. There is, afterall, a fridge full of free beer at my dorm.

There's a new Raveonettes video for your viewing pleasure here.

And who's that longhaired f*cker talking to Sepultura? Is it me? No, it's my friend Rasmus.

And there's a new Ormondroyd here, though it's nut quite as funny as usual.

Posted 2:07 PM by Roy

When You're Downloading Music, You're Downloading Communism!

I have a pretty good feeling about today. The sun is shining, there's not a cloud in the sky, and I made a great bargain this morning. I found a boxset with Facelift, Dirt and Jar Of Flies by Alice In Chains for the price of one CD. All of these are f*cking excellent albums, so I'm feeling very pleased with myself right now, even though it means I now have 2 copies of Dirt. But then again, everybody should have.

I actually went downtown looking for the new Pete Yorn album, but that won't reach Denmark 'till the end of May, luckily there's a preview thing going on at his website. But now I'll probably try to get it send from the states. Stuff like this just seems ridiculous when people are bitching about people downloading music.

And speaking of Metallica, the cover for their new album has been has been put on the net, and it looks pretty crappy if you ask me. And I'm not sure I get the title, St. Anger, either. But what the hell, I'll probably see them this summer at Roskilde anyway. If nothing else then just because Bob Rock won't be playing with them.

According to this (Danish) article, people who own Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot should be able to download 6 new songs on www.wilcoworld.net tomorrow.

The trailer for Terminator 3 is here and it looks quite silly. The one good thing about female Terminators is that when they travel through time their clothes.... well.... you know what I mean!

Posted 10:16 PM by Roy

Piss Away Potential Everyday is a Waste - And I'm Wasted Every Day

The Easter vacation is coming to an end, and I have managed to do absolutely nothing. Saturday I saw Arsenal - Middlesbrough down at the pub. Apart from seeing Arsenal win, the most exciting thing was watching my friend drink 3 Long Island Ice Teas and a couple of beers. I didn't drink that much but I still ended up way drunk, and later; way way hungover. Today I've been at a local restaurant called Luc & Manu, where I got possibly the best meal I've ever had. Not to mention: the biggest.

With some help from my brother, I've finally gotten some "Comments thingies" (that's the technical term) on the page, so if you are a regular, or irregular, visitor of this page, you are more than welcome to drop a line.

Local band, and personal friends, Fillip are playing at a club called Play in Aarhus this Friday, so that should be worth checking out.

That's pretty much it for today, now let's just hope Real Madrid will kick man U's asses on Wednesday...

Posted 3:19 AM by Roy

I Saw Some Things I Thought I'd Never See

Wednesday I saw Arsenal -United. Excellent. Or at least pretty good. It turned out to be an expensive draw, since we lost Vieira and Sol.

Thursday I didn't really leave bed until about 9pm or something, extremely busted. I saw the extremely, ridiculously crappy xXx. Some people say it's so bad it's actually funny, but I didn't laugh much though. At some point I actually thought Vin Diesel was kinda cool, just around when I saw Boiler Room, but that movie must have been some sort of fluke.

Friday I didn't do much either. Ended up watching Eight Legged Freaks, which is exactly how you would expect it to be, so at least I wasn't dissapointed by it. Not exactly Oscar material. There is by the way a perfectly valid explanation why I see these movies, but I won't tell it now.....

Saw Dennis Regan doing stand up on The Letterman Show tonight which was pretty funny. He had a line that went: I'm 48 now which concerns me a bit, because I had my midlife crisis when I was 24 which I thought was kinda funny. It reminded me of when Steven Wright said his birth certificate had an expiration date. Perhaps you had to be there.... Reciting stand-up is rarely a good idea, and writing it strikes me as being even worse.

I got this link from my brother, and first it dissapointed me a bit, but of course it's the Government trying to cover it up. I still believe in you, time-travelling insidetrader-man.

Posted 3:35 AM by Roy

....

And we're f*ckin' back! Some days you love the ref, some days you don't, and then again, some days you're just f*ckin' too happy to bother. Just too happy right now..... Maybe tomorrow............................ We're still in it!

Posted 4:47 PM by Roy

Insert pseudo philosophical headline here...

So, eh, haven't really been doing anything really exciting for the last couple of days, another failed attempt at not drinking. We tested Easter beers Sunday afternoon which was okay. I wrote an article about it which turned out allright, though I doubt it'll get any awards. I might post it later, 'till then you can see the pictures here. They aren't too impressive, but it's pretty hard to do anything funny on a Sunday afternoon.

I'm not very optimistic regarding the game on Wednesday, the Sheffield United game wasn't too impressive, but luckily Henry and Paddy are more confident.

Here's a little something for any potheads in the Copenhagen-area. (In Danish).

Oh, and this guy always makes me laugh.

Posted 10:29 PM by Roy

The Windmills of Reality Fight Back

Today I saw Lost In La Mancha, a documentary about Terry Gilliam's ill-fated attempt to make the Don Quixote film. It's always quite weird to watch documentaries at the theater because you basically watch a documentary in order to learn something and you go to the theater to be entertained, and there's something weird about seeing a thoroughly enjoyable movie about Terry Gilliam and his crew fighting a quixotic battle and in the end lose. But I really liked the movie, and Terry Gilliam's movie is probably one of the best movies that never was made.

Tonight I've been writing an English essay for one of my friends, and it turned out pretty crap, but I guess it was okay for what he needed. I don't think it'll flunk, and that was about the criteria. I even managed sneak in a little reference to the Seinfeld episode where he's a bootlegger - I managed to compare a loaf of bread with a guy's soul. I doubt the teacher will pick up on it though...

The new Pete Yorn album is on the stairs now, so finally I'll get to buy a new record, even though it got a fairly crap review in Rolling Stone.

If there's any toiletbowl-enthusiasts outhere here's something for you.

Oh, andif anybody played Rob or Fab yesterday you'll probably have noticed that it was a trick - they're both Fabien Barthez.

Posted 3:11 AM by Roy

Two Man Bob

Ok, I admit it, I was in a pretty bad mood yesterday. Not that I did anything to hide it. But watching Real Madrid crush Man Utd tonight really did help a lot. Real Madrid looked unstoppable tonight, and I really hope they win the Champions League. Figo's goal was just fantastic. Pure class. And it was nice to see ol' Butterfingers up to his crazy antics again, including handling the ball outside of the penalty area, which referee, and winner of the Swedish McGyver lookalike contest, Anders Frisk somehow failed to see.

This game is extremely addictive, so be ware and use it wisely. It is called Couronne, but we usually just call it Bob in Denmark. Don't ask me why. i did manage to beat some guy whose log-on name was Beckham earlier today, which in itself is very pleasing.

Do you like ghosts? Do you like pirates? Do you like ghostpirates? Swashbucklin' adventure? Johnny Depp? Well do you, punk? If yes, then you'll probably enjoy this trailer for the movie Pirates of the Caribbean. It looks pretty stupid, but sometimes I just feel like watching stupid movies, and then this will come in quite handy. Assuming it ever reaches Denmark...

And then lastly a little game called Rob or Fab. The rules to Rob or Fab are pretty easy, just guess who of these two gentlemen is a Man Utd goalkeeper and who is former singer of Judas Priest: Guy 1 Guy 2. Good Luck

Posted 12:49 AM by Roy

Kein Metal, Nur Country

Today's been kinda a weird day. Actually not that weird, but different from a lot of my other days. I only slept for about 4 or 5 hours last night, and then I went to work from 8.30AM to 4PM which left me really busted and grumpy. So I'm sleepy and grumpy (that's two out of seven, right?), and have my mind set on going to bed and not leaving it ever again, or at least not until summertime comes, when a friend of mine calls and asks if I wanna come over and see his new Wilco DVD. The DVD in question being the highly anticipated documentary I'm Trying to Break Your Heart. I must admit that I was a bit dissapointed by it, I was perhaps expecting too much because it really isn't so much a documentary as it is a music-film with a lot of performances, and while the story of how they got dropped from their label did make for some interesting reading back then, it has been covered in pretty much every music magazine, and with that in mind it didn't keep me interested for 92 minutes. That said, the performances are great, fantastic songs, and if you are a Wilco fan you probably don't want to miss it.

Mr Wenger says The title will be won or lost at Highbury. My guess is that it will be lost. But I'm looking forward to seing him say "We still have a chance" after we lose against United. Well, what can I say; I'm still sleepy and grumpy!

Mr Posterboy-for-domestic-violence, Tommy Lee, has landed a book deal. My guess is he'll have a ghostwriter, and I'm currently looking for someone to ghost-read it for me.

Lastly, and I totally stole this from Anders, I just hope this guy is married, because he will never meet a girl again. And if he does, it's f*cking unfair!

Posted 9:38 PM by Roy

God damn, what a brother gotta do to get a message thru to the red, white and blue...?

I was listening to Bodycount at a party the other weekend, and it was exactly as bad as I remembered it to be. We used to hear their first album alot when we were kids because it was so bad that it was actually quite funny. Obviously these guys knew absolutely nothing about how to make metal, or even just rock, songs. The main emphasis is of course on Ice T's vocals, because it was his band, but the lyrics are so extremely stupid what we actually thought it was quite amusing to sing along with them. Lines like The world is insane and I'm living in Black Rain stick out in my mind, along with a song about Voodoo and of course the brilliantly titled Evil Dick - which by the way isn't a song about Richard Nixon. We started discussing why there was no black people in heavy metal - the only people who we could think of was Rocky George who was the guitarist from Suicidal Tendencies, and Living Colour, but they were hardly a real metal band. We figured that it was probably because Bodycount were the metal equivalant of Vanilla Ice, an attempt by black people to make "white music", and like Vanilla Ice they sold a lot of records, got a lot of press, but in the end just became something people would laugh at at geeky parties.

So, this Friday I went to the Sepultura concert at Voxhall, and it was, to say the least, impressive. I hadn't heard or seen them since Max Cavalera packed up his guitar and left the band, and I'd heard that their last albums were pretty boring and their new singer wasn't all that. But the show was terrific and their new singer, a huge black guy with dreadlocks called Derrick Green, was extremely cool, and sang the songs to perfection. All in all it was a great night to be in Aarhus. It's kinda weird that seing a black guy sing heavy metal would come as a surprise me, but for some reason I've just never seen it before. I guess it's like when people saw that Eminem could actually rap, though I don't think there will be a Derrick Green movie out just yet.

Today we went to see the extremely mediocre DareDevil. Actually I guess it was alright, but like all other superhero movies it will be compared to Batman, and it's just not half as good. It's a bit like Spiderman, though not quite as mushy, and it's always nice to see a superhero who isn't afraid to kill a few badguys. Jon Favreau was funny in it, and Jennifer Garner was very hot - probably still is. Collin Farrel did very little to justify the hype, and the rest of the cast was just anonymous, even favorite supporting actor Leland Orser who had about 3 lines in the entire film

That's it for today, I have no links or anything, they'll probably come when Arsenal start winning again....

Posted 4:40 PM by Roy

Where Did All THe Good Bands Go?

Much like Kristian I ended up going down to the local secondhand store who are having a huge sale right now with 50% off on all used CD's. And much like Kristian, I ended up buying an English compilation CD from 1994, only this one featured artists like Entombed, Carcass and Napalm Death instead of Elvis Costello, Tears for Fears and Duran Duran. I have reached the conclusion that Death Metal got as good as it will ever get with Entombed's Wolverine Blues and Carcass' Heartwork, so there really isn't much point in buying new stuff. What is now starting to frustrate me a bit is there isn't really any new music outhere worth buying. I was looking through the CD racks like a crazy person yesterday, and I couldn't find anything that seemed worth buying. The last album I bought was Paradise Lost's Symbol of Life back in January and the next album will probably be the new Type O Negative sometime in May - that's not good enough for a guy who used to buy a new album every week. It was way easier to buy albums when I just said I was a metalhead, followed an entire scene and bought whatever got good reviews and looked cool, instead of now when I only buy stuff that is actually good. Ah - to be 15 again! Speaking of being 15, I'm going to see Sepultura this Friday (Which by the way costs less than 50% of what it costs to see Suede). I was pretty big on Sepultura back in the mid-nineties, even saw them at Roskilde 96, so that should be a nice drunken stumble down memory lane.

Posted 12:34 PM by Roy

A Story Like That Gotta Be True!

Happy April's fool day. Having been known to be a pretty gullable kid, everything I read or see today will go through a thick filter of scepticism, because I always feel like a complete twat when I fall for those silly stories. It also bothers me quite a bit that I have never been able to pull off an April's Fool on anybody. So for today I won't even try. Arseblogger has been at it for a couple of days now, and the Danish papers always try to pull some crazy shit, but unlike his, it is easy to see that they are made kinda last minute, and you almost visualize some editor going: Holy cow, tomorrow is April 1, go make up som lame-ass story. Perhaps they just don't have as much time on their hands.

Here is a story I'm really hoping is true. The Offspring are stealing the title Chinese Democracy from Axl Rose - which should be the title of the album he's been working on for 8 years. If it turns out to be a joke, much like the Offspring's music, it will be against the April's Fool honourcode, because they have been talking abaout it for a couple of days.

Something that is definitely not a joke, but will be much more fun, is the forthcoming movie A Mighty Wind, another mock-rockumentary from the people from Spinal Tap - How can that not be cool? It's kinda weird that I saw that today, since I was thinking about Spinal Tap this morning because we're thinking about doing a "The Black Issue" of our schoolmagazine. It can be none more black.

The last thing for today so far is a link to the Danish cartoon Strid, which for some reason I found extremely amusing.